


You're not alone, Princess!

by ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brave!Princess, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, Mount Weather, Protective!Bellamy, SO MUCH FLUFF, Spacewalker, Wild animals, set after 2 x 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4041889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal/pseuds/ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Finn's death, Clarke is haunted by nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever started. Ever. I published it on ff.net and thought I upload it here.
> 
> ENJOY!

She woke up with a sudden sob. Again. Tears run silently down her cheeks, she didn't even wipe them off like she would normally do. She almost felt comfortable with them touching her face.

She could feel the body next to her, breathing. He was asleep. That was good. He needed it.

Slowly, so as not to wake him, Clarke sat up.

The nightmares were haunting her for a whole week now. She stopped screaming three nights ago but she still woke up in the middle of the night, crying.

Finn died eight days ago. No, that was wrong.  _She_ killed him! That's why nightmares were haunting her and she couldn't sleep because whenever she closed her eyes, she could see Finn, tied on that mast... She had no choice. She did this for her people. Not for the people in Camp Jaha but her people in Mount Weather. At least, that's what she kept telling herself to not freak out, but the truth is, she didn't kill Finn for them. The Grounders would have killed him wether she had or hadn't done it herself. The Grounders  _wanted_  to kill him. Actually, they were upset when she did it.

But this death would have been horrible for Finn. Before the Grounders would have killed him, they would have tortured him so that he had to feel every single of the eighteen deaths of their people. Clarke couldn't let them do it. What Finn did was terrible. She knew that. She hated to see him like this, to actually be afraid of him and the knowledge that he did this  _for_ her, was killing her. But he wasn't himself and she cared too much about him to let them torture him.

_Thanks princess._

Those two words were hunting her in her dreams. They seem to prove that what she did was right but it still felt so wrong. In her head, she could still hear Raven's scream when she saw that Finn was dead. And every night, she woke up because the memory of this scream shattered her heart in thousands of tiny pieces.

She hadn't spoken or seen Raven since that night. It was for her own safety, she knew that.

When Clarke entered the Camp again, Raven run towards her and the next thing Clarke felt was Raven's fist in her face. She would have probably ripped Clarke into pieces wasn't it for Bellamy and Wick. The two of them holded her back before she could hit Clarke a second time.

As far as she knew, Raven spend that night locked up in a cell. Clarke felt horrible and she couldn't understand why her mother would do such a thing to a grieving teenager.

Bellamy had told her that she wasn't alone, though. Wick spend the night with her in this cell. He really seemed to care about Raven and she was glad that Raven wasn't completely alone.

When they brought Raven to the cells, Octavia tried to talk to Clarke. She wanted to know if she was okay. Of course she wasn't and Clarke knew that O just wanted to be there for her but she couldn't speak, she did not wanted to. When her mother asked about the agreement, she just nodded. Once.

When Octavia tried to talk to her, Clarke almost started crying. She never cried in front of others and she hated to show weakness. It was hard enough not to cry when she entered the Camp again, she couldn't deal with the warm-hearted Octavia, now.

Fortunately, Bellamy showed up again. He immediately saw what was going on. He told O to leave and accompanied Clarke to her tent. As soon as they entered the tent, Bellamy wrapped his arms around her and in the safety of her tent and Bellamy's arms, Clarke started crying. And she didn't stop.

They stood there for what felt like hours. It probably  _were_  hours. But Clarke didn't care and Bellamy didn't leave. He stayed and did not let go of her. When she finally was too tired to stand there any longer in the entrance of her tent, he lifted her up and carried her to her bed. He laid down with her but they didn't sleep that night. He just held her in his arms all night and let her grieve.

The memories made her sob again and this time she woke up the person next to her. She didn't see him but she could feel how he moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her body. He didn't say a word. He knew that it wouldn't help her and Clarke was thankful for that.

After a few minutes, her breathing calmed down and she stopped sobbing. She then slowly turned around to face him. He loosened his embrace and wiped off the last tears running down her face.

When ever she looked at his beautiful eyes she saw nothing but fear. He didn't pity her but he cared about her and he was afraid because he could see that she wasn't getting better. She could see this in his face.

During daytime, she didn't show anyone that she only had a couple hours of sleep in the last week. But  _he_ knew. He woke up every night when he heard her crying. He didn't get a lot of sleep either and it was her fault. Clarke felt terrible but she didn't want to lose the feeling of his arms around her waist to comfort her. Clarke knew how selfish she was but she couldn't help it.

She sighed.

"Bellamy, you need to sleep."

Bellamy just looked at her, shaking his head. "So do you, princess."

When she heard this stupid nickname she smiled slightly.

When Bellamy saw that, he sighed in relief and smiled, too.

"I knew you like it when I call you that!"

Her smile got brighter but she shook her head. "Shut up, I don't."

"Whatever you say, princess but your smile tells me everything I need to know.", he touched her cheek and Clarke's smile got even brighter.

He smiled his half-smile which Clarke loved. But she would never admit that to him.

Bellamy pulled her down again, next to him and wrapped his arms around her. Clarke snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes.

If her mother would knew about that, she would probably kill Clarke.  _And_  Bellamy.

Bellamy kissed her head.

" Try to sleep for a few hours, Clarke. Please."


	2. Chapter 2

**Clarke**

When Clarke woke up the next morning, she immediately knew something was wrong. Something felt different this morning but she couldn't tell what it was. She sighed and thought about last night.

Last night had been different, too. Bellamy had finally called her  _princess_  again. It was the first time in over a week that he had called her by that stupid nickname. He had been wrong when he'd said that she would like the nickname because she did not. But the hate in his voice when he called her that was gone. No hate, no sarcasm. More like a pet name. They had become close and Clarke was glad to have his friendship. She needed him and she knew that he needed her, too. The day she saw him after she escaped Mount Weather, Clarke knew that she needed him more than anyone else. When she saw Bellamy wasn't dead, Clarke was filled with so much relief, it startled her. But when he closed his arms tightly around her, she was sure, Bellamy couldn't do it without her either. And if this meant to get along with him calling her 'princess' she didn't mind at all. And after all, Clarke liked the pet name more than the alternative.

The alternative was  _Clarke_. But the intensity with which Bellamy said her name now made her shiver. Not in a bad way. It... it just felt wrong, like the kiss he'd given her last night. Bellamy may have only kissed her head but it had felt weird. He had never done that before and it confused her. It probably wasn't a big deal but why did she feel like it was?

 _Maybe it was_ , she thought.

Clarke opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. The thought of her and Bellamy as more than friends scared her in a way she wasn't familiar with. It didn't only scare her, it also made her smile, and that terrified her even more.

She sighed again. It was already bright outside and Clarke finally knew what felt wrong. She had slept longer than she normally did. With another sigh, she sat upright and when she saw a movement next to her, she almost screamed. Clarke calmed down a bit as soon as she'd realized that it was Bellamy who was lying right next to her.

But when Clarke realized that Bellamy was  _still_ lying next to her, she freaked out again.

_Why the hell was he still here?_

Now she knew it wasn't only the light shining through the tent that felt odd, Bellamy always left by dawn when everyone else was still asleep. He really should be gone by now. Bellamy was  _never_ there when Clarke woke up. They did not want anyone to know about the fact that Bellamy spent the nights with Clarke, especially not her mother. Nobody had woken them and Clarke was about to lose it. She really hoped that nobody knew about them.

Clarke needed to get up before someone changed their mind and started looking for them. She could hear people talk and walk outside and knew that the Camp had to be wide awake for a couple hours by now.

When Clarke pulled away the blanket from Bellamy he groaned and slowly opened his eyes. Her expression went blank. She stared at him and when she spoke her voice was filled with anger. Clarke wasn't actually angry with him but it was easier to hide her emotions behind a wall of anger.

"What the hell were you thinking? Get up!"

She didn't wait for him to respond, refusing to look him in the eyes when she talked. She just turned around and walked to where her shoes were standing.

* * *

**Bellamy**

Bellamy woke up when someone pulled away his blanket. When he slowly opened his eyes, he saw the white light of the day shinig through the tent. He looked up and his gaze met a beautiful face edged with blonde hair. Her beautiful blue eyes were blank and Bellamy had no clue what she was thinking. Normally he could tell what was going on in inside her head, but at the moment she successfully hid whatever she was thinking. He knew something was up because Clarke tried to avoid meeting his eyes.

When she finally spoke, Bellamy winced. Her tone was harsh. She seemed to be angry with him.

"What the hell were you thinking? Get up!"

Clarke just turned around to get her shoes and Bellamy stared at her back. He was perplex by how grim she sounded.

Bellamy had no idea what he had done to make her upset. Last night was like every other night in the past days. Clarke had woken up in the middle of the night, crying. She kept having the same nightmare where she killed Finn over and over again. He had woken up by hearing her sobb and tried to comfort her. He'd actually made her smile, which he thought was progress. He hated to see her cry. It made his chest clench.

Perhaps he shouldn't have kissed her hair. He didn't mean to, it just happened. Bellamy only wanted to show her that he would not leave her. After Clarke had finally fallen asleep he'd laid there for hours, watching her steady breath. She never looked peaceful in her sleep and it had surprised him how much that bothered him.

He'd finally fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning.

Bellamy let out a sigh. He pulled on his shirt and jacket and walked towards Clarke who was tying her shoes. Since a few nights ago, he was accustomed to taking off his shirt, since it was always soaked by Clarke's tears.

Bellamy could see Clarke stiffen when she sensed him behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder and forced her to face him. Her expression was still blank and Bellamy was filled with concern.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Why are you still here?" she asked back. She still sounded angry but her tone was a lot kinder now.

"I want to know what's going on, that's why." He tried to catch her glance but she still avoided it.

"No," she said. Finally meeting his eyes. Bellamy still couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Why are you still here? You should have been gone hours ago! What if someone had seen you?" She shook his hand off her shoulder and took a step back.

Bellamy froze. He had no idea why she suddenly was that cold towards him.

"Are you really that concerned about your mother finding out that I'm trying to help you through your nightmares, princess? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? People could think we have a thing going on and I'm not good enough for your majesty." That came out harsher than he intended and Bellamy immediately cursed himself when he saw Clarke wince.

He had no intention to hurt her.

Clarke's blank expression faded and Bellamy could see tears start to glisten her eyes, but she blinked them away. It seemed like he'd really hurt her and he hated himself for that. He made a step forward but she immediately took a step back. He cursed under his breath.

"Clarke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"You did." she interrupted him. Her expression went blank again. "And you're right, why would I want people to think you and I had a thing? That's insane because you and I will never happen. That's definitely the  _last_  thing I want. I just need you to get our people out of Mount Weather. That's all."

And with that she spun around and walked out of the tent, leaving a startled Bellamy behind.

His jaw had dropped open while Clarke was speaking and he still hadn't closed it.

Bellamy couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He didn't want to believe that Clarke actually meant what she'd just said.

He knew that it was his fault. He shouldn't have said what he did, but neither should have Clarke. She couldn't be serious, could she?

He couldn't think about this now; Bellamy had to go before people started asking where he was.

When Bellamy ran out of the tent, he spotted Raven watching him, curious. He ignored her, looking for something to distract his mind.

* * *

**Clarke**

Clarke spent the rest of the morning at the infirmary, avoiding everyone. She had an hour before she and Bellamy had a meeting with Commander Lexa. She hoped their fight wouldn't disturb the meeting.

Clarke felt sorry; she knew she'd gone too far. She sighed, noticing that she sighed a lot lately. Clarke needed a break so she stepped outside.

She saw her mother talking with two guards with Raven standing next to her. The next thing Clarke saw were the two guards running towards the spot where Bellamy was obviously fighting with Octavia. She watched in shock when the guards grabbed his arms and dragged him towards the cells. Octavia ran behind them, yelling, but Lincoln stopped her.

Clarke just stood there, watching them drag Bellamy away. Her mother followed while Raven walked away.

Clarke wasn't able to move a single muscle...


	3. Chapter 3

**Bellamy**

Bellamy had no clue what was happening. He had been fighting with O because he didn't want her to join Clarke, Lincoln and him when they had the meeting with the grounders. Then, two uniformed and armed guards appeared on either side of him and grabbed his arms. They caught him by surprise and he had no time to react. Without saying a word, they dragged him towards the dropship.

Bellamy knew exactly what O was going to do and he shouted for Lincoln who appeared just in time to stop O from attacking the two guards and going to jail. She yelled at the guards and at Lincoln. She kicked and tried to hit him but Lincoln wouldn't let her go. Bellamy was grateful that Lincoln was there even though he would never admit it in front of him, but Bellamy knew he could count on him when it came to O. He knew that Lincoln would protect her at all costs.

Although he had no idea why they took him, Bellamy had no intention to fight the guards. He knew that if he'd fight the two douchebags things would start to get very ugly.

Bellamy couldn't keep watching his sister who was still hitting at Lincoln to let her go. When he looked away, his gaze locked with Clarke's startled expression. Again, he looked away. He couldn't think about Clarke, not now. Because when he looked over his shoulder he saw dark brown eyes that watched him carefully and with anger. Abby's eyes had nothing of the kind and calm expression of her daughter's. He couldn't see anything in Abby that reminded him of Clarke except that she was a strong woman. _Jake Griffin had to be a great man_ , he wondered.

The guards stopped in front of the cells and the unease Bellamy suddenly felt didn't do much for his feelings towards Abby. While Abby unlocked the door he finally found his voice.

"Why…?"

The look Abby shot him was icy. "Don't play stupid Bellamy, you know exactly why you are here. And you will remain here until I decide something else."

He thought about Raven and how she'd watched him this morning when he ran out of Clarke's tent, and he then had an idea why.

Abby opened the door and the guards pushed him inside and tied him up on a pole. Bellamy looked in those cold brown eyes.

"You know, I'm just protecting your daughter."

"You're not protecting her. You're the one who puts her into danger. You can be glad that you're still alive!" And with that, she and the guards left.

* * *

**Clarke**

The look Bellamy gave her when the guards dragged him away snapped Clarke out of her trance. When he looked away, Clarke started to run towards Raven who watched the scene with a satisfied grin. When she saw Clarke, her smile got even brighter. It was a wicked smile and Clarke would love to punch her in the face, like Raven did the night when she'd killed Finn. But Clarke didn't. She knew that whatever Raven had done was because she wanted to hurt  _her_. Clarke stopped a few feet before Raven.

"What have you done?"

Raven laughed.

"What have  _I_ done? Oh I just had a nice little chat with your mom. Abby wasn't thrilled when she heard that Bellamy keeps sneaking in your bed in the middle of the night when you're asleep. Especially when she heard that he'd threatened you, if you told anyone."

Clarke's jaw dropped open. She froze, again. Raven laughed and walked away.

Clarke shook her head. She couldn't believe that this was really happening. Why would Raven do such a thing to Bellamy? To her, she understood. But Bellamy? Bellamy was always there for Raven when she needed someone. Her mother would probably kill him for what Raven had told her. Clarke needed to get him out.

Clarke turned around and headed towards Lincoln and Octavia.

"I need your help!"

Both of them immediately stopped their struggle and Clarke told them what Raven had done.

"I'm going to kill her!" Octavia shouted.

"Raven is hurt, she lost everything. We won't kill her. She is one of us, remember?"

Octavia looked at the ground.

"I have an idea and I need you to help me. Both of you. I'm the only one that can change my mother's mind but I need backup. Lincoln? I need you to go and find the commander. I need you to bring her a message for me."

Lincoln nodded.

"I'll go with him." Octavia said.

"No, you won't."

"Clarke, you already sound like my brother. I'm going with Lincoln."

Clarke sighed. "Octavia, you can't go with him. I know your brother wouldn't want that but that's not the reason.  _I need you._  Here. In the camp."

When Octavia didn't answer, Clarke sighed again.

"Look, you two are the only ones I trust right know. There aren't a lot of our people here because everyone is still in Mount Weather, and we still need to figure out how we're supposed to get them out of there. I still don't trust Murphy even though he proved that he can be trusted and the reason why my mother is doing whatever she's doing to Bellamy right now, is because of Raven. When it comes to Bellamy, you are the only one I trust and I tell you I need you here, because when I get Bellamy out of there my mother won't let us meet the grounders on our own. So can you please shut up for a moment and let me explain my idea?"

Octavia nodded and Clarke started talking...

* * *

**Bellamy**

Bellamy still wasn't sure why Abby had locked him up in here but he sure as hell knew that it had something to do with Raven and what she saw this morning when he left Clarke's tent. He would really like to know what Raven had told Abby that made her lock him up in a cell. He knew that Abby had never liked him but that was very odd.

He also had no clue why Raven would tell Abby something that would put him in jail. He actually thought they were friends. But obviously he had done something that made her angry. Very angry.

"MOM!"

Clarke's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Bellamy had thought that Abby and the guards had left but it seemed that they were still standing in front of the door.

Clarke sounded very angry. He smiled. No one wanted to be near his princess when she sounded as angry as she did right now.

 _Wait,_ he thought,  _ **his**_ _princess?_

_What the hell was wrong with him?_

He shook his head in disbelief. Bellamy would have never thought that he would think of Clarke as his. She would probably kill him if she knew. But that wasn't important right now. He concentrated on the voices outside the door.

"Clarke, what are you doing here?" Abby didn't sound pleased.

"WHAT AM I DOING HERE?" She shouted. "Why on earth do you believe the lies Raven is telling you, instead of asking me if they are true? What's wrong with you? What kind of mother doesn't ask her child if everything's okay before she randomly imprisons people?"

_What lies?_

"I knew you would say something like that, my dear, but now he won't be able to threaten you again. Everything is alright, you can go now."

"Don't you dare touch me!" Clarke sounded really pissed and Bellamy wished he could see what was going on.

"Let him go, Abby. He has done nothing wrong. Raven lied to you because she wants to hurt  _me._  She's still angry because I killed Finn and I can understand that she wants to see me hurt but you should have come and talked to me before you locked Bellamy up. I know what she told you and the only thing that's true is that he's spending the nights with me. But on  _my_  request. I asked him to stay the nights in my bed because he's the only reason I can sleep at night. He's always the one protecting me and everyone else. I would have been not myself anymore, or even dead, if it wasn't for him. He's the reason I'm keeping it together. Actually, you should thank him, not lock him up like a criminal. Everything he does, is protecting me."

Bellamy froze. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. After how he'd treated her this morning she was still defending him.  
Bellamy was in awe of Clarke.

"But he's a killer!" Abby sounded a bit perplex and startled.

"How is it that you call Bellamy a killer after you saw _me_ killing Finn?" Clarke's voice was even colder than the look Abby had given him when the guards brought him here.

"Clarke, you did what you had to do. You did Finn a favour. But he tried to kill Thelonious." Abigail sounded desperate.

"He never did, did he? I remember seeing Jaha walking around this morning. He looked alive. You have never seen Bellamy kill anyone but you saw your own daughter killing a man a couple nights ago. The only reason Bellamy and I killed was to protect our people. And if you have forgotten,  _you_  are a killer too! What you did, is worse."

Abby didn't say a word but Bellamy knew that Clarke was talking about her father. The only thing Bellamy wanted to do right now was to hug and comfort her.

"Now, if you would be so kind and unlock the door. You don't have a choice though. The agreement with the grounders will only last if Bellamy and I are going to the meeting with Commander Lexa and we've only half an hour left. If you do not believe me, outside the Camp are two grounders waiting for us. They'll tell you what will happen if we don't show up for the meeting. Because then, there won't be an agreement. Only war!"

Bellamy couldn't hear a response but something must have happened because after a few minutes he heard a key turning in the lock and the door opened, revealing a divine face edged with beautiful blonde hair and angelic blue eyes.

His mouth twisted into a smile.

* * *

**Clarke**

When she opened the door and saw that Bellamy was unharmed, relief filled her. When he gave her his lopsided smile which she loved, she almost cried.

Clarke ran towards him and threw her arms around his body.

"Thank god, you're alright. I was so worried."

She could feel his smile.

"I'm sorry Clarke. I..."

"Don't." She interrupted him. "We don't have time."

Clarke took a step back and looked him in the eyes. Bellamy nodded. Then she unlocked his handcuffs. Bellamy rubbed his wrists.

Clarke took his hand and dragged him out. Her mother and the guards had left and Clarke smiled. But when she saw them at the gate her smile faded. She knew they wouldn't let them go on their own but she didn't trust her mother around the grounders. That's why she needed Octavia.

Clarke pulled Bellamy in the other direction towards her tent. But she didn't go inside. She walked around the tent where Octavia waited for them, a gun in her hand. When she saw them, she lowered the gun and hugged Bellamy. Clarke looked at her and nodded. Octavia gave her and Bellamy a gun and stepped aside, so that they could see a hidden entrance.

Bellamy opened his mouth to say something but before a single word could leave his mouth both of the girls hissed:

" _Not now!_ "And Bellamy remained silent.

Clarke locked her gaze with his beautiful brown eyes and then stepped through the entrance, Bellamy following behind her. After he stepped outside, Octavia closed the hole and disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bellamy**

He followed Clarke into the woods. She didn't slow down once to look if Bellamy was behind her. Bellamy still had no idea what was going on and he really wanted to know but he trusted Clarke with his life. When she was running into the woods with a gun, dumping her mother and getting him out of jail after how he'd treated her, she probably had a really good reason to do so.

She wasn't the leader of their people for no reason. Bellamy used to see himself as the leader but he came to the conclusion that without Clarke and her sense of responsibility, they would have all died weeks ago. They made a pretty good team but when everything hits the fan she was always the one making the hard decisions. The ones _he_ wasn't able to make.

As soon as they were deep enough in the woods that the people from their camp couldn't see them anymore, Clarke stopped running, and the next thing Bellamy knew was the feeling of her arms around his neck. She caught him by surprise and he stumbled over a few branches and then felt his back hit the ground.

He laughed. But when he saw the serious look Clarke gave him, he immediately stopped. He didn't move a single muscle and neither did she. Her beautiful eyes were fixed on his and her palms were pressed against his chest.

Carefully, Bellamy raised a hand and stroked a strand of her golden hair behind her ear. His other hand brushed over her cheek.

 _Her skin is so soft,_ he thought.

He smoothly cupped her face in his hands. Neither of them had said a word since they left the camp and Bellamy found himself speechless by her beauty.

Clarke closed her eyes by his touch and with concern, Bellamy saw a single tear escaping her eye. He wiped it off.

"What is it?" he asked.

Clarke shook her head. Fear started to fill his thoughts. Gently he sat up and placed her in his lap. One arm wrapped around her waist while the other hand was holding her face.

"Look at me."

Again she shook her head. There weren't any more tears but something was definitely wrong.

"Come on, princess. Talk to me."

By the sound of her nickname she smiled slightly. Then she hid her face in the crook of his neck and took a trembling breath. Bellamy just held her tightly.

"I am so glad that you are okay." she whispered against his skin.

Her breath tickled him and his pulse sped up as she continued speaking.

"I was so worried because I had no idea what my mother was going to do to you. After what Raven had told me I thought she would kill you. And I am so sorry for what has happened this morning, I really am. I shouldn't have freaked out because you've stayed because I know you needed some rest and I feel terrible for how I've treated you after everything you've done for me. I'm really sorry Bellamy."

While she talked, her lips brushed against his skin and he shivered.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gotten so angry. Thanks for getting me out of there. When I heard your voice I thought I was dreaming."

Bellamy felt Clarke's mouth twisting into a smile. Then she pulled her head up and their gazes met.

"Does that mean I'm in your dreams, Bellamy?"

Clarke tried to hide her grin but failed miserably.

"How am I supposed to dream about anything else when you're falling asleep in my arms every night, princess?"

Bellamy had no idea what Clarke was thinking.

He knew that at any moment they could get attacked out here but he couldn't concentrate. Their faces were only inches away and he could feel her warm breath on his face. Her palms were still pressed against his chest and when the tension between them rose he could feel her grabbing fists full of his shirt.

His gaze wandered to her slightly parted lips and his heartbeat stopped for a second. Then his stare wandered back again, searching her face for something that would made him stop. But there was nothing. Clarke just looked at him and waited in anticipation.

There was no holding back then and he closed the space between their lips.

* * *

**Clarke**

When Bellamy's lips met hers a soft gasp escaped her. His lips were soft and the kiss was gentle. She closed her eyes and when he pulled away she wanted to protest but she had never seen him smile like this before and she melted in his arms. Clarke smiled back and threw her arms around his neck, pulling Bellamy closer.

This time the kiss was fiercer, and when she started to explore his mouth with her tongue his hands grabbed her hips harder and he pulled Clarke so close that every part of them was touching.

Bellamy tugged on her lower lip and Clarke's fingers played with the soft curls at his neck. She couldn't think clear. All she could think of was his muffled moan, his body pressed against hers. Bellamy kissed her like he was dying of thirst and after everything that had happened, the only thing she wanted to feel were his lips brushing against hers.

Too quick he pulled away. Both of them were breathing heavily. His eyes were a brighter brown now and the smile he gave her was breathtaking. Clarke would probably never say this out loud but she loved his freckles.

Bellamy gave her a last quick kiss and then stood up, pulling her with him.

"We need to go, princess. The Commander is waiting."

Clarke sighed but took the hand he held out. Before he moved he pulled her into an embrace, lifting her of her feet. She laughed.

"I love that sound, you know that?" he said, taking her hand again.

Clarke's cheeks flushed. She squeezed his hand, and they made their way towards the Grounder's Camp.


	5. Chapter 5

**Clarke**

As the two of them walked further towards the Grounders, Clarke couldn't stop thinking about what just happened a few moments before. She couldn't believe that she had really kissed Bellamy, and only a few days after Finn had died. Clarke felt guilty. She didn't know why but she did. It wasn't like she had loved Finn. She had feelings for him and she had cared about him but she hadn't been in love with him, even though she'd told him that.

_But was she in love with Bellamy?_

Sure, she had feelings for him. They made a good team and became great friends in the last couple weeks. She even shared a bed with him. The last week had definitely changed something between them but Clarke hadn't noticed anything until last night. Bellamy seemed to care so much about her, and Clarke knew that she cared as much about him, but she had thought that it was because of their friendship. Now she wasn't so sure anymore.

Bellamy had kissed her and she'd kissed him back.

_Why had she let that happen?_

She could feel his hand around hers. Her hand looked so small in comparison. She had to admit that she liked the feeling of him holding her hand. She also liked the feeling of his arms around her body. It made her feel comfortable and it was the reason she could sleep at night. But kissing him? It felt good. No, actually it felt more than good.

Clarke shook her head. She needed to stop thinking about Bellamy's lips against hers. She needed to concentrate. They were about to face Lexa. Clarke couldn't allow herself to think of anything else. Not now.

She sighed and bumped into something huge.

"Ouch!"

Clarke hadn't even noticed that Bellamy had stopped walking.

* * *

**Bellamy**

Clarke didn't pay attention to her surroundings. Her mind was far far away from everything they were about to face. It made him nervous, he didn't need a Clarke that wasn't concentrating while they were on their way to a meeting with Lexa.

Bellamy would love to know what was distracting her. He was already dragging her because she walked so slowly.

Bellamy stopped walking when he heard her sigh and then she bumped into him. He caught her arms before she could fall again.

"Ouch!" she cried.

She looked at him with a startled expression.

"Why did we stop?"

_The way she said_ _**we** _ _._

Bellamy shook his head. All he needed right now was a clear mind, although he was more than aware of how her body fit into his. He lowered his arms and took a step back.

"What's going on Clarke? You're not paying attention."

Bellamy saw how she frowned when he said her name. He hadn't called her 'princess' a lot lately. Honestly, he always thought she hated that name but the smile she'd given him before and how she frowned when she heard her real name, taught him otherwise.

"Princess, I need you to concentrate now. Whatever's going on in your beautiful head can wait."

_Shit! What was wrong with him?_

Clarke's eyes went huge but after a moment she smiled, shyly.

"I'm just a bit nervous I think!" she didn't look him in the eyes.

"Why? Because of Lexa?"

She shook her head.

"No. I mean yes. I don't know." Clarke sighed again.

Bellamy noticed that she was sighing a lot lately and he didn't like that.

"Princess, look at me." he placed a hand under her chin and forced her to look at him.

"If you are worried about us, just forget it. Okay? We'll talk about us later. It's not so important."

When Clarke flinched at his last sentence he sighed and corrected himself.

"Princess, you know that's not what I meant. Of course  _we_ are important! To be honest it's very hard for me right now not to think of you and me. It's just that we need to focus on what is more important at the moment and that is our truce with the Grounders, so that we can get our people out of Mount Weather." He let go of her when she nodded.

"Okay, let's move." Clarke made a step forward but Bellamy grabbed her arm again. She seemed very confused and Bellamy would have probably laughed if he wasn't seriously interested in her answer of what he was about to ask her.

"One more thing before we go, Princess." He let go of her arm and took a step back. Clarke's expression got even more confused and Bellamy took a heavy breath.

"Did you mean what you said before? When you talked with your mother to get me out of there?"

Bellamy knew that Clarke knew what he meant because she suddenly smiled, sheepishly. She took a step forward and grabbed his hand with both of her hands.

"Of course I meant what I have said. Bell, without you I would have been lost.  _I need you!_  Don't you ever forget that, okay?"

She looked so serious and Bellamy couldn't help the smile that spread over his face.

"Okay."

Bellamy and Clarke just stood there and smiled at each other, Clarke still holding his hand.

Neither of them heard the man coming. He stood a few feet away, leaned on a tree and watched them both with an amused smile.

The man cleared his throat and laughed when they both jumped, Clarke releasing Bellamy's hand quickly.

* * *

**Clarke**

They both jumped and Clarke let go of Bellamy's hand. She was looking for the source of the noise when she heard a very familiar laughter. At the sound of it she and Bellamy turned around.

He stood a few feet away and was clearly amused. Clarke wondered how long he had stood there and what he had overheard and she felt her cheeks heat, Bellamy was speechless and watched their viewer with huge eyes.

"We really need to hurry, the Commander is getting impatient." Lincoln said and walked past them to lead the way.

Clarke sighed and followed him not looking over her shoulder to see if Bellamy did the same. She simply knew he would and to be honest, she didn't want to give Lincoln another reason to laugh at them.

The three of them walked in silence and after a few minutes they reached the edge of the woods and saw the grounder's camp. Everyone watched them curiously as they came near. Bellamy was suddenly next to her and their shoulders brushed with every step they took. Clarke could feel his strain but she didn't say anything.

Lincoln stopped a few feet from a huge tent, probably Lexa's. Two guards stood in front of it.

"She's waiting for you." Indra came out of the tent and spoke directly to Clarke.

Clarke handed Lincoln her gun and stepped forward.

"Just her," Indra commanded.

When Clarke turned she saw that Bellamy was about to follow her but he froze when Indra spoke. He didn't seem to like that at all. His eyes searched for hers and now he looked afraid. Bellamy's eyes were pleading Clarke not to go on her own but she only shook her head. Then she smiled. It was a little smile and it was only for him. Clarke trusted Lexa and she wanted Bellamy to trust her. He finally nodded briefly and she turned and entered the tent.

* * *

 

After what felt like hours, Lexa and Clarke finally agreed on a plan, but first they needed to get someone of their people inside Mount Weather. Clarke didn't like the idea at all but she agreed anyway. It was the only chance they had. But they needed a volunteer. Clarke sighed, again.

She and Lexa left the tent to look for Bellamy. Clarke immediately found him. He was in deep conversation with Lincoln but he didn't seem comfortable with it. Clarke could swear when he looked up and saw her, he blushed. She walked towards the two of them, Lexa following her.

She informed them of what they had agreed on.

While she talked, Clarke saw the change in Bellamy. He became very silent and avoided looking Clarke in the eye.

She knew that look and she hated it. She became angry.

"Not an option." She suddenly said, looking at Bellamy with pleading eyes."Don't. No, Bell. Don't even think about it. This is not an option..."

"Clarke-" he tried to interrupt her but she wouldn't let him.

"No Bellamy. Please! I can't lose you, too! Okay?" He winced at the sound of how desperate she was and nodded.

Clarke didn't believe him though. But they couldn't talk about it now.  _Later,_  she told herself.

Suddenly Clarke felt a hand on her shoulder. Lexa stood behind her with a serious expression.

Clarke stood and followed her a few feet away from the two men.

"Clarke, you know exactly that he is the best chance we have."

Clarke looked at her in shock. She shook her head.

"No way. We need him here." That was a lie but she didn't care, all she cared about right now was his safety.

"Clarke, he makes you weak.  _Love_ is weakness _!_  You are better without him."

Clarke laughed. It was a hysterical laugh which caught the attention of everyone who was near them. Bellamy and Lincoln moved towards them.

"No," Clarke said, "I don't think so. Love is not weakness.  _Love_ is what makes us stronger!"

With that Clarke turned. Not looking at either Bellamy or Lincoln.

"What was that about Princess?"

She simply ignored him, took her gun from Lincoln and marched out of the camp.

Both men tried to talk to her but she kept ignoring them, lost in her own thoughts. She was so angry.

After a while they gave up talking and the three of them walked in silence.

When they were in sight of Camp Jaha, she could hear the guards shouting something. When they reached the gate her mother came out of the dropship. She was angry, too.

"CLARKE GRIFFIN!"

But Clarke interrupted her. "Shut it, Abby." She still used her mother's first name because she was really angry at her for what she'd done this morning.

"I'm not in the mood. Where's Kane? We need to talk.  _Now!_ "

Her mother gaped at her with open mouth. Kane showed up and Clarke quickly told them what she and Lexa had agreed on. When they finished, Clarke immediately turned to Bellamy. Not giving her mother the chance to talk to her. She looked at him with an expression that said:  _My tent. Now!  
_ Then she turned and walked away.

Bellamy stepped through the entrance of her tent only seconds later. He held up a hand before she could talk.

"It's okay Clarke. I won't go."

She looked at him for a moment then turned to get in bed.

"You're staying?" she asked without looking at him.

"As you wish."

Clarke didn't want to talk about what had happened earlier and Bellamy seemed to know because he didn't start the topic. He just held her tight. Clarke was very aware of the fact that Bellamy hadn't promised her anything and that was when she had made her decision. She couldn't let him leave, he would only get himself killed. Clarke simply couldn't let that happen.

She turned in his arms to face him and caught him gazing at her. He smirked and dipped his head down to bring their lips together. Her lips parted in surprise and Bellamy slid his tongue into her mouth. The kiss was sweet and tender. After a few moments they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Clarke snuggled closer into his chest and felt the silent vibration of his laughter. She kissed his chest and closed her eyes to prevent the tears she could feel coming, from floating.

Bellamy kissed her head goodnight and soon his breathing slowed into a steady rhythm as he fell aspleep.

When the Camp was finally asleep, she snuck out of bed with one last long look at Bellamy. She needed to make sure, he didn't put himself in danger. She couldn't lose him, he meant too much.

In Raven's garage Clarke found what she needed. A walkie-talkie. She needed to talk to Bellamy tomorrow to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Clarke froze and slowly turned. Raven stood in the entrance of the garage, watching her curiously.

"Raven, I..."

"I know what you're planning on doing. And let me tell you,  _that's insane_! What the hell is wrong with you? The Mountain Men will kill you."

"They won't. I have a plan. Please, we need to get the others out of there."

Raven looked at her and then sighed.

"I know I cannot stop you but you really shouldn't do this."

"Just don't tell anyone until tomorrow. I need a head start because otherwise Bellamy will think he can still stop me and we really  _need_  to finally do something."

"Okay. Clarke listen, I am sorry for this morning. I just..."

"It's okay. Don't you worry, Raven." Clarke said. "Could you do me a favour?"

"Sure."

Clarke took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote something down. Then she folded it in the middle and gave it to Raven.

"Could you lay that on my bed after I'm gone?"

The other girl nodded and took the paper.

"I'll take this walkie-talkie so we can stay in contact while I'm on my way to Mount Weather." Clarke turned, she wanted to go.

"Clarke?" the sound of Raven's voice made her stop. "Be careful."

She turned to give Raven a little smile and then she was gone.

* * *

**Bellamy**

Bellamy woke after a long and peaceful sleep without being woken by Clarke's nightmares. He turned to pull her in his arms but found her side of the bed empty and cold. He opened his eyes. Clarke wasn't there, instead he found a little piece of paper with the letter  _'B'_  on it.

He had a bad feeling. Bellamy unfolded the paper.

_Talk to Raven!  
_ _-C_

That was all. He jumped out of bed and put on his shirt and jacket and ran in direction of Raven's garage.

"RAVEN!" he shouted.

She was inside, talking with Wick and holding a walkie-talkie in her hand. When she heard Bellamy's voice she winced.

"Raven where the hell is Clarke and why should I talk to you. What the fuck is going on?"

"Bellamy just... calm down a bit."

He stood in front of her and she seemed scared. Panic started to build up in him.

"Raven," he whispered. "Tell me she didn't do what I think she has done. Please."

Tears glistened in his eyes and Raven looked sorry.

"Why don't you ask her yourself," she said. Offering him the walkie-talkie.

His hands started to shake but he took the device from her.

"Hey, Bellamy." he jerked when he heard her voice.

He felt moisture running down his cheeks. He didn't say anything. He knew exactly where Clarke was. His Clarke. His brave princess. She knew he had lied to her and made sure that he wasn't the one putting himself in danger. It was all his fault.

"Bell?" It was only a whisper but he could hear her anyway.

"I am so sorry." Bellamy could also hear her tears and it broke his heart.

"Princess-" his voice husky.

"Don't hate me," she whispered through her tears.

"I don't," he said. "I could never."

He heard her sigh of relief.

"Where are you right now, Princess?" he asked.

"I am almost there."

Bellamy closed his eyes to calm down.

"I'm getting Kane and Lexa and telling them what's going on. Don't you dare move until this plan is perfect, got it? I don't want you to get hurt."

"Got it," she said. "Bellamy..." she started.

"I'll get you out of there, Princess. Don't worry, I have your back!"

He could hear her sob and his heart broke.

"Princess, don't. Please. Don't cry."

"I am sorry." she repeated.

"Me, too. I'll go get the other's okay?"

"Okay."

"Princess?"

"Yes?"

"If you get yourself hurt I'll have to kill you, okay?" he tried to joke.

Clarke didn't say anything at first but he could hear her sobs.

"I'll be careful" she finally whispered still sobbing but Bellamy could also hear the smile in her voice.

Bellamy closed his eyes, he could feel the tears running down his face. He wiped them off and turned around, running towards the dropship.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bellamy**

He ran towards the dropship, holding the walkie-talkie as if his life depended on the device.

He was angry. Not at Clarke but at himself. He should have known that Clarke would do something stupid. He shouldn't have fallen asleep, he could have stopped her. But as he'd held her tight and felt her snuggle against his chest he felt safe, and for once in his life he wasn't worried. He knew that nothing would harm her in his arms. He would protect her at all costs.

His feelings for her had grown fast. He had no idea when that had happened but they were real. He knew he couldn't live without her anymore. Knowing that Clarke was in danger because she wanted to protect him made Bellamy not only angry, it also warmed his heart.

It gave Bellamy hope that perhaps she felt the same way he did.

"Bell?"

It was only a whisper but Bellamy heard it as clear as if she had screamed his name. He stopped. It was strange to hear the nickname from anyone else but Octavia and he was surprised at how good it felt to hear it coming from Clarke's mouth.

 _Her mouth..._ Bellamy could not erase the feeling of her lips against his. A kiss had never felt so good before. He wished they had talked about it, he wanted her to say what she felt. He could still ask her but now was not the time and he wanted to look her straight in the eyes when she admited her feelings.

"Bellamy?"

This time, Bellamy could hear the panic rise in her voice and he realized that his thoughts had drifted far away from the walkie-talkie.

"Clarke? Is everything alright?"

"Good, you're still there. I panicked for a second." He could hear the relief in her voice.

"I am sorry Princess. I... I was just thinking." He felt his cheeks flush and was glad that Clarke couldn't see him.

"What were you thinking about?"

Her voice was still a whisper and he asked himself where exactly she was and if she was afraid that someone could hear her. When he spoke, he couldn't hide the concern in his voice.

"You." was all he said.

"You're angry, aren't you?" she asked. If Bellamy was right, Clarke sounded worried.

"Not at you, Princess."

"Bellamy," he was surprised how serious she sounded. "Don't blame yourself for the things I do. It's not your fault that I decided to put myself in danger. I probably would have done it anyway. Someone needed to do this."

Clarke was in danger and all she cared about was how Bellamy felt. That was so typical. Always worrying about others rather than herself. That was what he loved about her.  _Love._

That thought struck him unprepared, and he was quite for a moment. He shook his head.

 _Now is not the time,_ he told himself.

"Of course it's my fault, Princess. If I had promised you, you wouldn't have done this and-" he was cut short.

"Bellamy, listen. I thought about this a lot more than you think. I made my decision as I spoke with Lexa. When you didn't promise me not to go, I knew you would definitely go out there on your own and I simply couldn't let that happen. You don't know what's waiting there but  _I_ do. All you need to do is trust me. Do you trust me, Bell?"

"Of course I do," he said, a little offended, but then he heard Clarke chuckle at his outburst. He smiled a little. His tears were long gone and so were Clarke's. Bellamy was glad about that.

"I just want you to be safe, Clarke. I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm not sure if I could bear that." he was serious again.

"Bell," she sighed, "Don't you worry, you won't get rid of me that easily. I'll still be here to annoy you." she joked and Bellamy almost laughed. Almost.

"Promise, Princess?"

"Promise! Getting on your nerves is my favourite activity, you dork. I would never give that up."

"And I would never bet against you, Princess."

They both laughed until Clarke spoke again.

"Bell?"

"Yes?"

"Where the hell are you? And why aren't you with the council?"

Bellamy slapped his palm against his forehead. He had totally forgotten about that.

Clarke seemed to know what was going on and said,

"It's okay Bellamy. Just... go there, okay? I don't know how long I can keep hiding."

"I am sorry." he felt guilty and he immediately took off.

Clarke didn't say anything and Bellamy was glad she didn't. She distracted him and that wasn't good. He needed to concentrate on his task and that was making sure that Clarke was safe. That was his top priority right now.

When Bellamy entered the council room, he could see Abby fighting with Raven. Nobody seemed to notice him. He cleared his throat, all eyes immediately flickering towards him as the room fell silent. Then Abby pointed a finger at him.

"You!" she cried. "What have you done to my daughter? This is all your fault!"

Abby moved forward to attack Bellamy, but before she could, Kane threw an arm around her waist and held her. She was furious.

* * *

**Clarke**

It seemed like Bellamy had forgotten to let go of the button because Clarke could hear the angry outburst of her mother.

She sighed. Of course Abby would think it was all Bellamy's fault, no matter how often Clarke told her that Bellamy is the one actually protecting her.

Suddenly the noise was gone and Clarke got a bit uncomfortable. Who knew what Abby had done to him.

"Clarke." The voice of Marcus Kane suddenly came from the device.

"Kane, where's Bellamy?"

"I'm here, Princess." Bellamy's voice sounded far away.

"Don't talk to her." The angry voice of her mother reached Clarke.

She sighed.

"Clarke, where are you?" This was Kane again.

"Kane, could you do me the favour and shut my mother up? If she's going to continue making such noises someone might find my hiding spot and I'd like to avoid that."

"She won't say another thing."

And he was right. Abby didn't say anything to it at all and Clarke felt a wave of relief.

"Thank you. Now I want you to give the walkie-talkie back to Bellamy," she said carefully. "If you want answers, don't fight me on this."

First there was nothing and then...

"Hey Princess, missed me?" Now his voice was more clear and Clarke sighed.

"Bell, you okay?"

Bellamy chuckled. "I can't believe you. You're the one who's in danger right now and all you're concerned of is me? I'm flattered." Of course he would use sarcasm to cover up his real concern.

Clarke smiled. "Don't feel too sure, jackass. By the way, you're wasting time."

"You asked, Princess." The wits was now gone from his voice. "Please, start talking Clarke."

"Right, sorry. First of all, everybody needs to get their heads out of their arses. I'm serious, Mom. Stop blaming Bellamy for the stupid things I do. He has nothing to do with me sneaking out of camp in the middle of the night. Had he knew that, he would have never let me go. As I told you earlier, Bellamy would do anything to protect me, it's about time you realize that. If you wanna shout at someone, then shout at me, not him."

There were a few murmurs of understanding. Then she spoke again.

"The same thing goes for Raven. Let her out of this. Now, where's Lexa?"

"I am here" a muffled voice reached her ear.

"Just in time" she heard Bellamy say.

"Clarke, I am impressed. After our conversation yesterday I thought you would do that, but still..."

Clarke could hear the smile in Lexa's voice. Her voice sounded clearer now and Clarke assumed that she moved to stand next to Bellamy.

"You know it's the best chance we could get because  _I_ know what's waiting for me."

"I agree. And I had hoped you'd see it, too. All you needed was a little more motivation."

"Very well played, Lexa."

Clarke was smiling despite the fact that Lexa had manipulated her.

"What does that mean, Clarke?" This was Bellamy, he sounded angry. Clarke frowned when he used her real name.

"We talk about this when I'm back, Bell."

He didn't say anything, meaning that he wouldn't fight her right now.

"Lexa, I'm at the place we agreed on. I need you to come here with the army. I'll already be in Mount Weather by the time you'll arrive here. We'll do everything as planned. Bellamy? Kane? Mom? I need you three to do exactly as Lexa tells you. You probably won't like it but if any of you care about my well being then you'll have to do what she says, got that?"

"Of course." Kane conceded.

"Yes, darling." Her mother's answer came a little later but Bellamy still hadn't answered.

"Bell?" she asked, pleading.

"Copy that." His voice was cold and indifferent.

Clarke sighed. She didn't like it.

"Don't." She whispered.

"What?" he snapped.

Clarke flinched. She knew he was angry but it hurt.

"Bell," she tried again, "Don't do that. Don't shut me out like this. I know you're mad but don't be like this."

"You know shit, Clarke."

"Bellamy..." Raven warned.

"Raven, don't."She said. "Bellamy Blake don't act like this. I know that you are not really mad at me. You try to hurt me so I'd stop caring about you but this won't work."

As he didn't say anything, Clarke continued.

"You are angry at yourself, for letting me go. But as I've told you earlier, this wasn't your fault and you couldn't have done anything to stop me. I didn't make this decision only based on my feelings for you. Don't think that I haven't thought about this. Keeping you safe is a bonus. And if putting myself in danger means that you're not getting yourself killed, then it's worth the risk. So stop being the pain in my ass."

Clarke could hear the sharp breath Bellamy took for everyone else was quiet, for once.

As the silence continued, Clarke was getting more and more restless.

_Why didn't he say anything? He should say something!_

Clarke had practically just admitted her feelings for him and he didn't say a word. She was getting angry.

"Clarke," this was Raven. "I'm sorry but he- he's frozen," Raven chuckled. "With a big fat smirk on his face." Clarke hadn't seen him smirk for a long time now and was happy that _she_ made it return..

But then she imagined Bellamy standing there with this grin on his face that she hated.  _Or loved,_ she thought.

"Bellamy Blake you stupid idiot! You are such a douche, I hate you!"

And then he laughed. Really loud. Clarke was shocked. She had never heard something as beautiful as this, and couldn't stop the smile spreading over her face. Clarke then decided that this was her favourite sound on earth.

"I'm sorry, Princess." Bellamy had stopped laughing but Clarke could literally see the smirk on his face and she wanted to punch him. Really hard.

"Then stop smiling like an idiot." she hissed.

"I am not." he tried to sound serious but failed miserably.

"I am sorry to interrupt the moment but we really need to hurry," Lexa cut in.

Clarke knew she was right and sighed.

"Okay."

* * *

**Bellamy**

He had totally forgotten about the others around him, and it hit him hard when Lexa spoke. He could see the smug grin on Raven's face and even Kane looked amused. Bellamy felt the heat creeping up in his cheeks, and avoided meeting Abby's gaze. She was smiling rather than looking angry, which made Bellamy a bit uneasy.

Lexa had already left the room and everyone else was now following her. Bellamy waited and remained for a moment after the others were gone.

"Princess, you know what? The reason for my concern for your well being are...are my feelings for you."

"I know," she answered, but Bellamy could hear the smile in her voice. He smiled, too.

"Bell?"

"Yes?"

"Hurry, okay?"

"I will."

"I'm afraid of what could happen." He could barley understand her now.

"I have your back." Bellamy hoped he could take the fear from her.

"I know you do. You always do." She sounded so secure, it warmed his heart.

They didn't talk after that. Bellamy had followed the others. They were on their way to whatever spot Clarke and Lexa had agreed on. This time, no one tried to take the walkie-talkie from him.

He had no idea where Clarke was right now, but he hoped that she wasn't already in Mt. Weather.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> Violent content!

**Bellamy**

He hadn't spoken with Clarke for hours. He tried once but she'd told him that it was safer if they didn't, so the last time Bellamy heard her voice was an hour ago. Lexa had asked for the walkie-talkie and had said exactly three words:  _Clarke, one hour!_

That was all Lexa said and Clarke only replied with an  _Okay._  That was it. Bellamy had no idea what that meant but he hadn't heard Clarke's voice since then and it was killing him. He really wanted to know what that meant.

Bellamy was startled when he heard Lexa a few feet away, calling for him. He walked over to her.

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to Clarke."

After her last  _talk_  with Clarke, Lexa had given him the device back. Bellamy had nodded in thanks. Lexa seemed to know that he felt better with the device in his hand. Without hesitation, Bellamy gave her the walkie-talkie again.

She took it and pressed the button.

"Clarke?" her voice wasn't more than a whisper and Bellamy wondered if Clarke could even understand her, but then he heard her reply even quieter than the Commander's.

"Yes?"

"We're here. How about you."

 _Here?_ What did that mean? Bellamy was confused. They stood in front of a hidden entrance but no one made a fuss in opening the door.

"I'm in!"

Bellamy frowned. He really didn't like the thought of Clarke being trapped in that Mountain again but he didn't say anything, just listened to their hushed conversation.

"Good. What about the cages?" Lexa asked.

Clarke and Lexa had decided that they didn't only need an army from the outside because an army from the inside would be even more effective, so now it was Clarke's task to free the grounders that the Mountain Men had imprisoned. Bellamy didn't like the thought of Clarke being near these cages,  _again!_

"We're working on that."

"Wait, we?" Bellamy finally spoke.

"Me and the others." was all she answered.

Before Bellamy could ask who those others were, he heard the familiar voice of none other than Jasper Jordan hissing her name. Bellamy smiled, he had never before been so happy to hear this idiot's voice.

Clarke seemed to let go of the button because they couldn't hear what was going on.

Bellamy tried not to look concerned but failed miserably.

"Lexa!" Clarke's voice returned. "Now."

Suddenly Lexa began to speak to the imprisoned grounders, telling them about their alliance with the Sky People and that Clarke spoke for her and that they needed to listen to what she said, that they were here to rescue them.

After that she let go of the button and they heard the rustling noise from cages that were opened. Bellamy could hear the sound of other familiar voices like Monty and Miller. He'd probably never admit it to anyone, but he missed his friend.

"Lexa? You can now come in. Harper and Maya are waiting for you."

And with that Lexa handed him the walkie-talkie back, turned around and gave the others a signal to follow her. She opened the door and they were now standing in what looked like a parking lot because of the cars. He hadn't noticed it before but now Bellamy remembered, this was the place where he and O had found Lincoln. They wandered deep into the darkness until they finally reached a heavy metal door. Lexa nodded her head once to Indra, who then stepped forward and knocked twice on the door. Someone on the other side opened it without hesitation and they stepped through.

* * *

**Clarke**

After they freed the grounders, Clarke had explained to them what came next. The grounders were angry enough to do exactly as ordered, and Clarke, Jasper, Monty, Miller and the rest of the 47 made their way to the exit where Maya and Harper were waiting with Lexa.  _And Bellamy._

Clarke had desperately tried not to think about him but now that she knew he was in this building, her thoughts kept wandering towards him. She knew that all she had to do was press the button but she couldn't risk getting distracted by his voice.

They came around a corner when she heard it. The crying and laughing of children. Clarke froze in her tracks, and then she let go a wave of swear words. Bellamy would probably be proud of her if he'd heard that. She exchanged looks with Jasper and he turned around to inform the others that they were going to take the children somewhere safe.

Clarke heard how Monty whispered to Jasper that he needed to know how Harper was doing. The image of the poor girl popped up in her head and the anger in Clarke rose. She still couldn't believe what they had done to her. She suddenly spun around and handed Monty the walkie-talkie.

"Here, use it to contact Bellamy and ask about the two girls. Then tell him about the children." She turned around but Jasper grabbed her arm.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"There's something I need to do. Do you trust me?" she asked. Jasper nodded and let go of her arm.

"Then get the kids out of here. I'll be back soon."

She turned around and ran in the direction where she knew she'd find what, or better  _who,_ she was looking for.

Clarke could hear the voices of two men and a woman behind the door. She smiled. They were together, making it all the easier for her. She carefully looked through the window in the door.

There were three people in the room.

President Wallace looked angry at his son and Dr. Tsing.

"Father, we don't have time for that. The grounders are free and everywhere in this building, killing our people. It's only a matter of time until they come for us." she heard Cage say.

"We need to go." The Dr. said.

At this, Clarke burst through the door. She pointed her gun at Cage's chest.

"You're not going anywhere." she said with a cruel smile.

* * *

**Bellamy**

"What does that mean, she took off?" Bellamy shouted into the device in his hand.

He couldn't believe what Jasper had just told him. And he couldn't believe that those idiots had let Clarke go. They knew how she was, always getting herself in danger.

Bellamy didn't care about the others right now. Jasper told him where she took off and Bellamy was already on his way. He'd promised to have her back and he always kept his promises.

Bellamy ran through the building, hoping to find her.

After a while he reached an open door. On the floor lay a dark haired woman with a white med coat. When he saw her face, Bellamy had to look away. He was shocked what radiation had done to her. Bellamy's eyes wandered over the woman's body and rested on a name tag.  _Dr. Tsing._

After all, she had deserved it. Bellamy turned around. Clarke wasn't here.

He ran in the other direction.

Bellamy arrived in a white corridor. He could hear voices and he was quite sure that one of them belonged to Clarke.

He hurried.

He found her in one of the rooms. He knew it was the room that they had kept her because she'd described for him the picture on the wall.

Clarke stood in front of two men who were tied to two white chairs. She was pressing a broken piece of glass in the younger man's palm. When he stormed the room, she looked up in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was cold.

"I could ask you the same." he took a step towards her but she held up one hand and he stopped.

"Don't" she said, "Don't try to stop me. They deserve it."

Bellamy's gaze wandered to the unconscious man in front of her. He was bleeding from several injuries. He wasn't dead yet but he couldn't let Clarke have more blood on her hands. She would regret that later.

"Clarke, stop it." He made another move towards her. "It's enough."

She sighed and said "you're right", not looking at him.

She turned and pulled her gun out. She aimed it at the man in front of her.

"Clarke!"

She didn't look at him and lowered the gun to the man's lap. Then she pulled the trigger. Bellamy had to look away. He couldn't believe what she'd done. She turned to the older man with a grim expression.

"He isn't dead yet." she said. Her voice was so cold, Bellamy didn't recognized it.

He was frozen in place after what he'd just witnessed.

"He will bleed to death soon and I'll hope he'll gain consciousness again so he can feel the pain. You know that your son deserved this. You should be glad President Wallace, I like you. You aren't like your son so you won't have to suffer. I bet seeing your son suffer like this is torture enough."

Bellamy watched her with open mouth as she again pulled the trigger of her gun. This time aiming the man's heart.

Bellamy didn't know what to say when she turned around.

"I'm finished here."

Without looking at him she walked out of the door. Bellamy shook his head, following her. He had no idea what happened with her and it frightened him.

Bellamy had followed Clarke to the others. They informed them that they left the innocent with their children in the building and that they won't hurt them. Clarke just nodded and without another word, made her way out of the building; Bellamy still her shadow.

Clarke still hadn't said a word to him and neither had he.

Suddenly she started running. Bellamy didn't saw this coming and wasn't prepared. He took off after her but lost her.

"Clarke!" he shouted but he didn't get an answer.

* * *

**Clarke**

She could hear Bellamy shouting her name but she didn't care. After what she'd just done Clarke doubted that he'd really care about what happened with her. She just kept running, deeper into the woods until the voices got quieter and she couldn't hear them anymore.

Clarke ran for what felt like hours. Tears burned in her eyes and she finally collapsed on the ground, her whole body was shaking from unshed tears. She was exhausted and terrified. Clarke couldn't believe what she'd just done. She knew it was wrong but she'd done it anyway. And Bellamy had witnessed it. It almost killed her that Bellamy now knew what a terrible person she truly was. That was the reason she'd run. They were better without her.

After some time, Clarke stood again. She found some of the grounder's tree holes and climbed into it. She curled into a ball on the ground and finally closed her eyes, falling asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Clarke**

When Clarke woke up it was already bright outside, and she had no idea where she was. She knew she'd run for hours last night until she couldn't take another step, and couldn't stand the waves of guilt that threatened to consume her. She lay on the dirty ground until the last of her sobs trailed off and she could finally use her feet again. Getting up was hard but Clarke was strong. Who knew what would find her here. Or who.

Clarke knew Bellamy and she knew that he wouldn't calm down until he'd found her; a trait of his she loved. She also knew that it was stupid to think that after all he'd witnessed he wouldn't care about what happened to her. That wasn't Bellamy. Even now that he must hate her, he wouldn't let her run in the woods on her own, where she could die. She was too valuable and her mother would probably blame Bellamy for her disappearing. Clarke didn't want to think about what would happen to Bellamy- she couldn't. If she did, she would immediately run back to Camp Jaha.

Clarke sighed and got up. She guessed from the bright light that shone through the leaves that it would soon be noon. She'd slept longer than intended.

She had no idea where she was heading but she started walking nonetheless.

This was a part of the forest she hadn't been before and Clarke had no clue what was waiting for her. She knew she had to be careful and therefore didn't rush.

She walked further into the forest. It was quiet and calm and Clarke started overthinking things again.

She hadn't intended to kill any more people, not after what had happened with Finn. Clarke did not want to be responsible for any more death than she already was. It was killing her, the guilt. She was a doctor at least for the remaining of the original hundred. She was supposed to save lives, not to take them.

It wasn't a shame that Dr. Tsing and Cage were now dead. Nobody would miss them. They'd been horrible people. They'd deserved it. But Clarke wasn't sure that she'd done the right thing. She also had no idea if Cage was really dead. She hoped so. He had lost so much blood- He had to. But Clarke didn't have to let him suffer. She should have immediately pulled the trigger and ended it.

Clarke had no right to decided who lives and who dies, she knew that. But she'd made the decision nonetheless.

Her thoughts wandered to the President. Dante hadn't looked the slightest bit afraid when Clarke had aimed the gun to his chest. He looked calm, like he knew what would happen. Like he knew that he deserved it. Clarke hadn't intended, too. He wasn't as terrible as his son but he had known of a lot of the things that were happening and he hadn't done a damn thing to stop them.

_Maybe he had deserved death after all,_ Clarke thought.

But it wasn't up to Clarke to make a decision like that.

_But maybe, maybe this had been his redemption._

She hoped so. She really did.

Clarke felt so guilty. She hated it. She didn't want to cause any more deaths. That wasn't her. And she definitely didn't want to feel the guilt twisting inside of her stomach.

She'd been the cause of so much death since she'd come down to earth.

She thought of the time where she'd thought she'd killed Bellamy and Finn. She'd hated herself for it. She'd missed them so much. When she'd seen Bellamy walking through the gate of Camp Jaha with only a few scratches, she'd almost lost it. She had no idea how she could have gone on any longer without her co-leader. Now that he would probably never look Clarke in the eye again, she had no idea how she could continue, not after the moments they'd shared in the past days.

"Get your shit together, Griffin. You're thinking too much." Clarke mumbled.

She was wandering through unknown territory and she hadn't stopped thinking about her messed up life, and the deaths she was responsible for. She needed to get her thoughts straight and pay more attention to her surroundings. She sighed and stopped when it sounded too loud in the suddenly silent forest.

If she'd paid a little more attention to where her feet were carrying her, she would have noticed that the birds stopped chirping for quite some time now. That wasn't a good sign. Normally that meant something bad was about to happen.

It couldn't be the acid fog. Mt. Weather was down. It didn't look or smell like a storm was coming either. They were at peace with the grounders, although there had to be a lot more tribes out here.

She knew she couldn't be so sure about it not being grounders but Clarke reckoned it was an animal. It could be a mountain lion or something else, maybe a bear. Clarke had never seen a bear before but she'd read of them and seen pictures in one of the books she'd 'borrowed' from the library back on the Ark.

Clarke did not want to think of the possibility that it might be a wild animal that stopped the birds from chirping. She wasn't prepared for that. She still had her gun but she sure as hell did not have enough bullets.

Clarke let her gaze go around. She slowly turned but couldn't made out anything that seemed strange.

Just as she wanted to head further into the woods she heard it. It sounded as if trees were breaking down. The sound was awful and somehow made her heart ache.

It seemed to be a few miles away but it became louder every minute she stood there, frozen.

_Something's movin' fast,_ Clarke thought.

After a few minutes she could not only hear the cracking of trees, she could also see them. Whatever was doing this was moving fast, and it was moving right in her direction. Clarke didn't think twice. She spun on her heels and took off in the direction she came from.

Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, making her running faster than she'd ever run before.

* * *

**Bellamy**

"Bell, we really should take a break." O called from a few feet behind.

Bellamy sighed. He knew his sister was right. He was as exhausted as she was but he refused to stop walking through those goddamn woods until he had found Clarke.

"Bellamy, I could use a break myself." Lincoln seconded Octavia's words.

He sighed again. It seemed like everyone sighed a lot lately.

Bellamy walked over to the next tree and slid down the surface until he sat on the hard ground. It had been quite some time since the last rain had fallen, the dirt being dry and hard. But it was a good thing that rain seemed far, for it would be more difficult if something would wash away the trace Clarke had unintentionally left. If Bellamy hadn't been sure that it wouldn't rain, he would have never allowed them to stop in their tracks.

Octavia and Lincoln sat at the foot of the tree across from him and Bellamy felt their gazes. He could hear them speaking in low, rushed voices, knowing without hearing a word they were saying that they were about him. Bellamy closed his eyes and rested his head against the dry and rugged surface of the tree.

* * *

" _Clarke! Clarke, don't run away. Clarke, please! Clarke!" Bellamy shouted but Clarke ignored him and disappeared into the night._

_Bellamy couldn't believe that this was happening. Why was she running away from him? He had just gotten her back after everything that had happened in the last weeks and now she was slipping away again._

_Bellamy wanted to follow her but was stopped by a small hand on his shoulder, turning him around._

" _Bell, what are you doing? You can't go in there by yourself." Octavia said._

" _Octavia? What the hell are you doing here?" He nearly shouted._

_Bellamy had no idea where his sister had come from. She wasn't supposed to be here. When she was here, she had probably been in the mountain, too. Bellamy became angry. He'd told her that she was supposed to stay at Camp Jaha and not follow them to Mount Weather._

_He knew he was asking a lot, for he and Lincoln were going, but Octavia was his baby sister and he had to make sure she was safe. Octavia was his priority, as she would always be._

_But to be honest, Clarke had also become his priority. He would give everything to protect his co-leader. That's why he had to follow her into the woods. To make sure she was safe._

_Bellamy was sure that after what had happened in the mountain, Clarke was filled with guilt. He had to stop that. The guilt Clarke always felt wasn't healthy for her. It made her do stupid things like running into uncharted woods in the middle of the night without rations or weapons._

" _You know what? It doesn't matter why you're here, O. I have to go. Go back to camp with Lincoln and the others." with that he tried to walk away but Octavia's grip on his shoulder only hardened._

" _Stop acting like a fool, Bell. You're not going in there by yourself. Don't try to argue with me on that because you won't stop me from following you. There's no way I'm going to let you run after Clarke on your own. Who knows how this will end. Probably with both of you dead! I'm coming with you!"_

" _Hell no!" Bellamy yelled. "I have no idea where you come from, but you shouldn't be here. Dammit! You're sure as hell are not coming with me. LINCOLN!"_

" _Bellamy stop yelling. You're getting your people upset. What is- SHIT! OCTAVIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" As soon as Lincoln saw Octavia, he'd forgotten about Bellamy and started yelling, too._

" _God, boys, get it together. You're overreacting. I-"_

" _OVERREACTING?" Bellamy interrupted her._

" _Jesus! Bell, calm down. As if I'd stay at the camp when the two people I love most in the world are out on a rescue mission for all my friends. Hell, you two should know better by now. I'm not a child anymore Bellamy and when you go out there to save our family of course I'm coming with you. When you all set off, I followed you and stayed at the end so you wouldn't see me. I was with the group that protected the children in the mountain. I'm fine. Now, could you please turn it down a bit? Both of you. If we want to find Clarke before the sun sets we need to hurry. I have the feeling she's already too far away to find her in time. And I am definitely not going to lose her again. She's my friend and I will come with you and so will Lincoln. Right, Linc?"_

_Octavia left the men speechless. She looked from her brother to her boyfriend. Both of them gaped at her with open mouths. Lincoln was the first one to regain his composure._

" _Sure. You need me anyway, for you don't know these woods as I do. You'd be lost in there. It's way more dangerous than the woods around the camp or the dropship."_

_Bellamy slowly nodded. He knew it was pointless to argue with his sister and she had a point. He would never admit that in front of her but she was right. If they wanted a chance to find Clarke before anything could happen to her, they had to set off right now._

" _Great!" O said as he nodded. "Let's go get you your girl back." A smug grin appeared on her face and Bellamy had to hold back a grin himself._

" _O, you know she's not_ my  _girl." he said as he followed her and Lincoln into the darkness._

" _Oh don't try to deny it. I see the way you look at her and the way you are the only person she lets near herself. And I know from Lincoln that you two had quite the moment in the woods when you were going to the grounder meeting." The smile on her face grew bigger as she watched his eyes grew wide._

_Bellamy glared at Lincoln._

" _Sorry" Lincoln mumbled._

_Bellamy sighed._

" _Can we please just keep going? I don't want to think about that right now."_

_O's features saddened. "Sure."_

* * *

Bellamy felt someone sitting down next to him. A small hand took his and squeezed it.

"We will find her, Bell. I promise!"

Without opening his eyes he whispered, "I can't lose her again, O. This time I won't survive. I need her."

"I know, Bell." she whispered back. "I know you can't. We all need her. We will find her. We need to."

Bellamy could tell from her quiet voice that his sister was holding back tears. She rested her head on his shoulder and Bellamy slid an arm around her. Pulling her close and resting his head on top of hers.

They had searched for Clarke the whole night with only taking a two hour break to get a little sleep. They were looking for her all night and the following morning but there was still no sign of his blonde co-leader.

A few times Bellamy thought he'd heard someone sobbing but they couldn't find the source of the sound.

Bellamy would do anything to have her back but they had no idea where she could be. But he wouldn't give up. He would never lose her again; this beautiful, infuriating woman he had fallen madly for.

Bellamy felt moisture building in his eyes, and squeezed them shut to prevent the tears from flowing down his cheeks. Now was not the time or the place to weep. He had to get his shit together and find the woman he loved. Crying over her wouldn't help her in the slightest.

Bellamy squeezed O's hand and stood, pulling her with him.

On the other tree Lincoln pulled himself up, looking quizzically at O who shook her head.

"I don't care if you are exhausted, you two can stay here but I'll keep looking for Clarke."

Octavia smiled at him and gave him a short hug.

"We will accompany you, Bellamy." Lincoln said with a smile playing at his lips.

They gathered their things together and were ready to leave when they heard the cracking of trees.

"SHIT!" Lincoln cursed. "We need to go. NOW!"

But Bellamy and Octavia stood there, frozen. Watching trees breaking and falling to the ground. He had no idea what it was, until he could make out a small frame with blonde waves running in their direction.

"Clarke!" he yelled as Lincoln pulled at his' and O's arm. "Clarke!"

"Bellamy we need to get away from here, now. We won't have a chance when  _It_ gets here."

He saw Clarke's head snap in their direction and she ran faster.

"It?" Bellamy asked. His eyes not leaving Clarke as she came near.

She looked horrified.

"Bellamy," she screamed. "Bellamy RUN!"

His eyes grew wide as he looked behind her and saw the black giant Lincoln had referred to as  _It._

He grabbed O's hand and took off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Clarke**

Breathing hurt. Clarke had no idea how long she could keep up with running away from whatever was chasing her. She hadn't dared to look behind her for she feared what she might see. Every muscle of her body ached. She knew she couldn't keep it up much longer. The adrenaline was all that kept her on her feet right now but soon it would leave her, and she would be exhausted. Clarke knew that although she was running as fast as she could, it wasn't fast enough.  _The thing,_ whatever it may be, was much faster than her. She needed to come up with a plan to save her miserable life.

To be honest, she'd thought about ending it so she didn't have to live with the guilt anymore but as soon as her life was in danger again, she did everything not to die. That was when she knew, she wasn't ready to leave, yet. Her life meant too much to her. She was a fighter, a warrior. She wouldn't give up her life just because she pitied herself at the moment. She would get over that, like she always did.

Then suddenly she heard it:

"Clarke!"  _was that Bellamy shouting her name?_ "Clarke!"

Her head snapped in the direction of the sound and she gasped.

It  _was_ Bellamy.

_No, no, no, no, no. This couldn't be real. No. What the hell is he doing here? He needs to get away from here._

She felt her feet move faster now, taking her in the direction where he was standing with Octavia and Lincoln. She could see that Lincoln tried to drag them away but Bellamy's gaze wouldn't leave her. Clarke cursed.

"Bellamy!" she screamed back. "Bellamy RUN!"

Clarke could see how his gaze wandered to what was behind her and suddenly he grabbed Octavia's hand and ran.

Clarke thought she was already running as fast as she could but the moment she saw Bellamy she got even faster.

All the power that threatened to leave her only moments ago was suddenly back, dragging her to the man she knew deep done she wanted to be with, although she wasn't ready to admit it yet. Or ever, since she still doubted that Bellamy wanted to have anything to do with her after what he'd witnessed in the mountain.

But right now, all Clarke could think of was how to get the man she loved, his sister, and her boyfriend safe.

Suddenly Clarke realized that they weren't far from the cave where she'd spent the night and an idea struck her.

"Lincoln," she called out.

He raised his arm to let her know that he was listening.

"Grounder hole!" she yelled.

Lincoln gained speed as he understood, and led them into a familiar looking area.

Bellamy and Octavia followed him with Clarke on their heels.

"Right." she yelled again and Lincoln followed her orders without hesitation.

Suddenly he jumped into a hole of a tree and Octavia and Bellamy followed him. Clarke was the last one to jump into the hole, sliding down the path to the cave.

She silently thanked whoever had built this cave that it was far under the ground. Then she heard something above them, making the trees crack only moments after she'd jumped in the hole.

The roar that followed made the earth quake.

Clarke collapsed on the ground where she'd slept only a few hours ago. She desperately gasped for air and so did the others. Clarke's head throbbed and she could hear her heart beating and the blood rushing through her veins.  
She was exhausted. She lay her head on the cold ground and after a while, breathing didn't hurt so much anymore.

Clarke didn't dare look at any of the others but she could feel gazes on her. She didn't want to see who was looking at her with such intensity that she could feel it for she was pretty sure that it was Bellamy.

All this running for nothing. He'd found her earlier than she'd thought he would. All thanks to whatever scary thing had chased them. She wasn't prepared to be confronted by him yet.

"What the hell was that?" Octavia asked after their breathings steadied again.

"I have no idea," Bellamy said. "It was gigantic and black."

Clarke remained quiet, still laying on the ground with eyes closed.

"Gorilla." Lincoln gasped and Clarke shot in a sitting position.

"What?" she was shocked.

She'd read about apes and seen pictures as well back on the Ark but never had she read about a gorilla that huge.  
That was probably one of the scariest experiences she'd made since she was on earth.

All eyes were on Clarke, now that she'd spoken.

She looked at Lincoln for she couldn't bear to look at any of the Blake siblings.

"That wasn't the first time you've seen what radiation did to animals, don't be surprised." he said.

Clarke shook her head in disbelief.

"Now what?" Octavia asked. "We can't go back up there."

"We should stay here until we can think of a way how we'll get back to the camp."

Lincoln and Octavia murmured their agreement but Clarke remained quiet again.

"Clarke?" Bellamy's voice was quiet and calm but she could hear the emotion he tried to suppress. behind it.

She didn't look up or say a thing. She just closed her eyes again. Clarke didn't want anyone to know that she was near tears.

She heard someone get up and walk into the second room of the cave, which Clarke thought was supposed to be a bedroom with all the furs on the ground. She felt someone scoot closer and knew that it was Bellamy.

Octavia and Lincoln must have left the room so they had some privacy. Clarke wished they hadn't done it. She wasn't ready to face him.

_How could he even look at her?_

Bellamy was sitting so close that their thighs were touching. Next thing Clarke felt was how he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.

The tears burned behind her closed eyes and she tried to wiggle free of his grip but he just pulled her closer so that her head was resting against his chest.

"It's okay now. I'm here. I won't let you fall." As Bellamy whispered those words in her ear she gave up and relaxed in his arms, the only place where she felt truly safe.

Though Clarke had shed so many tears in the last hours, when Bellamy held her tight and kissed her head, the tears escaped from her shut eyes and ran down her cheeks.

* * *

**Bellamy**

When Bellamy first wrapped his arms around Clarke, she tried to wiggle free but he simply held her tighter until she relaxed in his arms. He murmured quiet words to comfort her and kissed her hair. He felt the sobs rock through her small body and felt his shirt getting wet from her tears.

Bellamy sat her in his lap and Clarke slowly raised her arms and placed them around his neck, holding on as if he was her lifeline.

_Maybe he was,_ Bellamy thought.

He heard the quiet voices of his sister and Lincoln coming from the other room while he was holding Clarke at his chest and played with her hair.

Her tears dried after a while and her sobs slowly died away.

Bellamy didn't say anything and he did not need to, anyway. She did.

Clarke pulled away and looked at the wall behind him, avoiding his gaze.

"Bellamy, I-" she didn't have time to finish because Bellamy interrupted her.

"Hey. We'll get through this." he didn't want to hear what she was about to say.

She said it anyway, "I'm not coming with you."

He took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. When she eventually did look him in the eye, Bellamy made sure that she could see that he was serious when he said,

"I get it. If you need forgiveness, I'll give it to you. You're forgiven. Please come back to camp with us." his voice was pleading.

Bellamy knew he sounded pathetic but he couldn't help it. He felt his eyes burning again.

_Why did he constantly cry for this woman?_ Bellamy couldn't understand it and he couldn't understand Clarke when she whispered,

"I can't."

"Why, Clarke? Why can't you come back home with me? Please explain it to me because I don't understand."

"How can you even want me to come with you, after what I've done?" Clarke looked at the ground.

Bellamy could barely understand what she was saying because she spoke so quietly.

"Clarke look at me." he demanded, gripping her chin. "Clarke!"

She looked up at him and Bellamy could see her fear behind the pain. He sighed.

"Don't you dare feel bad and regret what you did. You did nothing wrong. All three of them deserved to die and you know that. They have killed so many people. We could not let them live. I would have done the same thing, Clarke."

"Really, Bellamy? You would have tortured him, shot his lap and let him bleed to death?" she remarked sarcastically.

"Remember when I hung Atom on a tree just for kissing Octavia? Or the time where I wanted to hang Murphy because I thought he'd killed Wells, or what I did to Lincoln so you would get the antitoxin?" Clarke stayed silent and Bellamy continued. "Clarke you did what you needed to do. I'm saying this for the last time: Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things! You need to remember that. Don't run away because you feel guilty. They  _did_  deserve it after all. You saved so many lives since we came down here, don't you ever think we could survive without you. We need you. You're our leader, you can't just give up. Think of all the lives you've saved with the death of three. And," Bellamy looked at the ground and then back up, meeting her eyes. "And  _I_ need you, Clarke. More than anything else."

Clarke's features softened and the warmth that suddenly filled her gaze increased his heartbeat.

She didn't say a thing but wrapped one arm around his neck again and pulled him closer. Her other hand cupped his cheek and then she brought their lips together.

Bellamy opened his mouth in surprise and Clarke slid her tongue in his mouth. Bellamy closed his eyes and kissed her back.

It was slow but passionate. Clarke was still sitting in his lap and Bellamy pulled her closer so their chests were pressed together and it felt like they were touching everywhere.

When they finally pulled away a bit, they were both breathing heavily.

Clarke watched him with the softest look he'd ever seen on her. It was so full of warmth and something Bellamy couldn't quite name.

"I need you, too, Bell. More than I've ever needed anything or anyone." It wasn't more than a whisper but Bellamy understood it as if she'd screamed it.

He smiled at her. "Does this mean you'll come back home with me, Princess?"

"Camp Jaha isn't our home, Bell." she sounded sad, despite the smile that appeared at the sound of the nickname.

"I know. We'll make our own home but first we need to take care of our people, okay Princess?"

"Our family."

Bellamy just nodded. O had said something similar last night. Both women were right; they were a family now and he would do anything to protect his family and look after them. Clarke knew that.

Clarke stood up and Bellamy reached for her hand. She took it and pulled him up. She wanted to let go of him when he stood next to her but Bellamy did not let her. He intertwined their fingers instead.

Clarke looked at their hands and then at Bellamy, smiling shyly.

"Octavia?" he asked and she and Lincoln entered the room.

O smiled at the sight of them standing next to each other and holding hands. She pulled Clarke in a short but tight hug and Bellamy heard her ask:

"You okay?" Clarke nodded.

O didn't question them once what it meant that they were holding hands and Bellamy was thankful for that.

"Now," Lincoln said. "We need talk about what's happening next."


	10. Chapter 10

**Clarke**

After an hour without any disturbing noises from giant gorillas that were destroying the forest, the four of them had finally agreed on leaving the cave.  
They were all too exhausted from running out of this goddamn scary woods, especially Clarke, but they were rushing nonetheless. They all wanted to get out of there.

After the run that Clarke took from the beast, she could barely stay on her feet but Bellamy, who was still holding her hand, dragged her along. He refused to let her pause.  
Every time Clarke slowed down a little, Bellamy pulled her forward again. And Clarke was grateful for that.  
She wanted out of those woods and never return. Being chased for miles by a gigantic gorilla in an unknown forest wasn't something she wished anyone.

Bellamy holding her hand was the only thing that held her up right. It gave her the energy to keep going though exhaustion threatened to win the upper hand.  
Her pale, small hand in Bellamy's tanned, big one was such a great feeling and gave her strength she needed. This feeling was something she had never felt before. Holding hands with Bellamy for  _hours_  was incredible. Wasn't it for Clarke's exhaustion, she would not have managed to hide her grin.

"C'mon, Princess. We've almost reached the mountain." Bellamy pulled on her arm again, remembering her that she can take a pause as soon as they reached Mt. Weather.

Clarke would have never imagined that being back at Mount Weather would fill her with relief.

Lincoln and Octavia were the first to step on the clearing. Both stopping and placing their hands on their thighs, breathing heavily.

They hadn't been running but they had been walking very fast.

Bellamy and Clarke stopped as they reached O and her boyfriend.

Clarke was gasping for air and as soon as they stopped she let herself fall on the ground.

She wanted to let go of Bellamy's hand so he did not have to stand in an uncomfortable position but he refused to let her go as if he was afraid that when he'd let go, she would run away again.

_Maybe he really feared that,_ she thought.

Bellamy knelt down beside her. With his free hand he pushed the strands of hair out of her face to be able to look her in the eye.

"You okay, Princess?" he whispered.

Clarke nodded.

"We should take a break." Bellamy said to Lincoln and his sister, not taking his eyes off of Clarke.

He was cupping her cheek and Clarke relaxed into his touch, her breathing finally calm.

"Bell?" her voice was barley a whisper.

"Yes?" he looked worried.

"I won't run away, I promise! You can let go now." Clarke was serious.

"But I really like holding your hand, Princess." he said with a smirk.

"But  _I_  would really like to feel my hand, again." she said with a light smile.

"Oh" he let go. "I am sorry, Princess. Why didn't you say something before?"

"Because I did not want you to let got." Her smile was shy and she wanted to look at the ground out of embarrassment but forced herself to look him in the eye instead. She really liked that he kept using that old nickname for her.

A huge grin plastered Bellamy's face.

"Bell, you look creepy, stop that." Octavia snickered.

Clarke chuckled as she watched Bellamy stick out his tongue at his sister.

* * *

**Bellamy**

Hearing Clarke chuckle while he stuck out his tongue at his rude sister, made his heart skip a beat.

He hadn't heard this sound in a long time and he'd missed it. He'd missed her. Missed how her smile grew wider and her look getting lighter as she continued to watch him and O bicker.

Bellamy needed to stop looking at her like a creep, O was right but he finally had her back. How was he supposed to not stare at her after he thought he'd lost her  _again_.

Next to him, he felt Clarke lay down on the grass. She looked at the sky.

Bellamy lay down next to her, head turned to face her and ignoring O's snickering.

His sister was an annoying brat but Bellamy knew that she was actually happy for him – happy for them.

After a while Clarke's lids flew shut and he heard her whisper,

"Bell? I am tired."

He squeezed her hand. "It's okay, Princess. You can sleep now."

She sighed and soon her features softened.

O, Lincoln and he sat in comfortable silent watching Clarke sleep as suddenly a small figure in a rubber suit appeared at the entrance of Mt. Weather.

They all scoot up immediately, ready to fight.

The person slowly raised her hands as if to show that she wasn't armed and Bellamy finally saw who it was.

"Maya?"

"Is she okay?" Maya asked, pointing at Clarke.

"She's just exhausted." Octavia answered.

Maya nodded.

"I thought that you would rather go home than stay here until she feels better because she really looks knocked out." Maya sounded worried. "Maybe this would help."

Behind her, two other figures in rubber suits appeared, carrying a stretcher. They placed it in front of Maya and than disappeared again.

Bellamy gave her a thankful smile. "Thank you so much."

Maya nodded again. "Get her home safely. I know she's your leader and she does a really great job at that but at the end of the day she's just a girl with too much of a burden to wear."

With that she turned around and walked away.

Lincoln and O got the stretcher and placed them next to Clarke. Bellamy scooped her up in his arms and carefully placed her on the litter. Thankfully she did not wake and Bellamy and Lincoln both lifted one end of the stretcher, making their way back to Camp Jaha.

As they made their way back to the camp Bellamy couldn't stop thinking about what Maya had said and she was right.

Clarke was just a girl with too much responsibility and it didn't help that she refused to let others help her bearing the burden.

Bellamy could also understand why Clarke wouldn't want to let others help her, she wanted to protect them all from getting hurt but  _he_  wasn't everyone else. He was Bellamy Blake. He was her co-leader. He was her friend, her partner. He wanted to be everything that she needed. He wanted to help her get through this. Bellamy didn't want to watch her suffer, not anymore. He'd always be there for her and it was about time that Clarke realized that – that she accepted it.

Bellamy sighed.

Clarke wouldn't be Clarke if she'd made it easy for him.

He remembered Lexa and Clarke talking over the walkie-talkie.  
He remembered Clarke saying "Very well played, Lexa.".  
He remembered how he had the feeling that it was all Lexa's fault that Clarke made her decision to go to Mount Weather.  
He remembered how he'd asked Clarke what she meant and how she'd said that they would talk when she was back.  
He remembered how she'd called him  _Bell,_ knowing that it would calm him so she could talk about something other and he'd forget.  
And he did. He'd forgotten until now.

Instead of fighting with her he'd admitted that he'd feelings for her and that those feelings were the reason he was constantly worrying about her and the reason he'd followed her into those goddamn woods.

"What are you thinking so hard about that you look like you want to rip something or someone into pieces?" Clarke's sleepy voice startled him and he stumbled over a stone. Lincoln and Octavia both turned their heads.

"Clarke, you're up." Octavia sounded relieved. "How do you feel."

"Not good. Can we-" she gulped. "Can we please stop, I feel sick."

Bellamy and Lincoln immediately stopped and put down the stretcher. As soon as the stretcher touched the ground, Clarke sat up. Bellamy kneeled beside her.

"You okay?" He asked, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder.

She nodded.

"Yeah, I just didn't expect to be moving when I woke up. I'm a little dizzy but I'm feeling better now."

She tried to get up and Bellamy helped her.

"You sure you can walk?" he was worried, she looked really pale.

"Bellamy, let her walk on her own." his sister's voice was harsh. "She's not a child, stop hovering."

With that Octavia looped her arm through Clarke's and they started walking but after a second Clarke stopped.

"What is it?" O asked.

Clarke looked expectantly at Bellamy. "You didn't answer my question."

Bellamy frowned.

"You had your 'I-want-to-punch-something/someone-look' on your face and I was wondering why."

"You." he answered honestly.

Now it was Clarke's turn to frown. Both girls looked questioningly at him but he shook his head.

"Later."

All of them continued walking eventually, Bellamy and Lincoln still carrying the stretcher. The frown didn't disappear from Clarke's face and Bellamy sighed but remained silent otherwise.

They walked slower now than they had before but it was okay. They were all exhausted and needed it, so naturally no one complained.

As their surroundings became increasingly familiar, Clarke become more and more restless. Octavia noticed, too.

"Hey Clarke, is everything alright?"

Clarke looked startled when O spoke to her but she nodded.

"Yeah, sure." O didn't seem to believe her and stopped, grabbing her arm and forcing Clarke to look at her.

Bellamy wanted to join them but Lincoln stopped him.

"Clarke can do that without you. She may be having a hard time but we all have. Sometimes you have to step back so you won't crush her, okay? Octavia can handle that."

Bellamy sighed, he knew Lincoln was right. Both men watched the women they loved talking.

"Clarke don't lie to me. You're restless. The closer we get to camp the more restless you get. Please tell me what's going on."

Clarke inhaled sharply and her shoulders sunk. She didn't cry but she looked sad, exhausted. Octavia cupped her face and forced her to look her in the eye.

"You're my best friend, talk to me." the worry in her voice couldn't be missed.

Clarke took another trembling breath before she spoke, never leaving his sister's eyes.

"I'm not sure if I can do that, O. I don't know if I can walk in there knowing that everyone's aware of what I did. I know we all killed at some point but what I've done is different, it was pure revenge and it had nothing to do with justice or survival – it was all revenge. And the worst is, I'd do it again. I don't know how any of you can still look at me. I don't deserve your love but I wouldn't trade it if I could. I just don't know how you are still able to love me? Why do you still wanna be my friend?"

Octavia hugged her but pulled away quickly to met her gaze.

"Clarke you're the strongest person I know and you're also the kindest person I know. You always see the good in people. You saved so many lives, you have closed so many wounds. Not just the ones that everyone can see but also the one's that aren't visible for all." she placed her hand over her heart, Clarke's gaze wandered her hand. "You did so much for all of us and if you don't believe me then look at my brother and tell me that he's still the man you first met! Tell me he didn't change! Tell me you can't see what you've done to him! Look at him and tell me that you can't see that he's now the version of himself that he tried to hide from everyone but me! Look at me, look at Jasper, look at Monty, look at Raven, look at all the lives you've saved in so many different ways. Do you really think any of us will sentence you for taking revenge on those bastards? Next time come and ask who wants to join you, most of us would have said yes. You're worth all the love we give you and if you ask me, this love isn't even enough.  
And Clarke you don't always have to be the strong leader. It's okay to not always be the leader. You can also be Clarke, the girl that has suffered a lot and that sometimes need a friend's shoulder to lean on, okay? You don't have to hide from anyone but Bellamy. I know my brother sometimes isn't the one you want to talk to, you have other friends too. Friends who care about you and who understand. We are a family, Clarke, don't forget that."

Bellamy was in awe of his sister, he was so proud of her. She'd matured so much since coming to earth and Bellamy was sure that Lincoln was one of reasons for that.

"You're good for her." Bellamy watched the girls hugging while he quietly spoke to Lincoln.

He could feel Lincoln's gaze on him and Bellamy gave him a brief smile before his eyes locked with Clarke's. She was still holding Octavia and her eyes glistened from the tears she tried to suppress.

Bellamy walked over to them and they unravelled their selves from their hug. He threw and arm around Octavia's shoulder and pulled her close, whispering,

"I'm so proud of you, little sister." he dropped a kiss on her head before he released her.

She smiled at him and walked over to a grinning Lincoln. Bellamy turned his attention to Clarke.

"She's right, you know." Bellamy said.

"I know." she paused a moment. "Bellamy? Thanks for coming after me. I'm sorry for running away like this. I was-"

"'S okay, Princess."

She smiled at him and took his hand.

"Let's go."

Bellamy knew he'd do anything for his Princess.

He was glad she was finally ready to go back to Camp Jaha with them.  
He knew it wouldn't be easy for her to face the others, especially her mother. But she didn't have to do it alone. She had him and Octavia and Lincoln. They loved her and they'd stand by her side, whatever might happen.  
Bellamy was sure he loved her but he knew now was not the time for big confessions so he swallowed it and squeezed her hand as they made their way back to their family.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entirely Clarke's POV

**Clarke**

When Camp Jaha finally came into view, they stopped for a moment. Octavia, who stood next to her, reached out and laced her fingers through Clarke's.

"You ready?" the brunette asked.

Clarke wasn't overly excited to be back at the camp where they were treated as kids and criminals and where her mother tried to separate her from the one person she truly trusted and in who's arms she actually could sleep.

But she knew that she needed to go back for all their friends where there.

She couldn't let them wait any longer. She was their leader and so was Bellamy. The kids needed them. They were a family and Clarke knew what that meant.

It didn't matter how much it sucked to be around the adults who treated them badly. They had to stick together!

And if someone could protect them from being treated that way, it was Bellamy and herself.

So Clarke squeezed Octavia's hand and nodded. "Yeah, I think I am."

They made their way towards the camp, Octavia still clutching her hand and Clarke wondered if the other girl feared she'd run away again when she'd let go or if she just did it to comfort her.

Either way, Clarke was glad she did it.

When they came in sight of Camp Jaha, people shouted and the gate was being opened. Clarke held tightly on to Octavia's hand and O whispered,

"It's okay." when they saw Abby running towards them.

Suddenly her mother was standing in front of her and threw her arms around Clarke. Clarke stood completely still and simply held tighter onto Octavia when the other girl wanted to let go.

Abby sobbed into her ear and Clarke closed her eyes. Eventually her mother pulled away.

To their all surprise she didn't say a word to her daughter. Instead she stepped in front of Bellamy and gave him a brief hug.

Clarke would have laughed at Bellamy's startled expression if it wasn't for the fact that she was pretty shocked herself.

Abby quietly said something to him that Clarke couldn't understand. Bellamy nodded and gave her mother a sincere smile.

Clarke looked at Octavia who looked at her in complete and utter disbelief – mirroring Clarke's exact feelings.

Lincoln laughed at their expressions.

Clarke wanted to say something but was interrupted when Octavia and she suddenly found themselves in a group hug with Jasper and Monty.

"Thank god, you are okay."

"Don't ever do that again, Clarke."

"We were sick with worry."

"You can't leave us."

Clarke laughed though her eyes were burning.

She was overwhelmed with love for those two goofballs. She couldn't believe that she'd seriously thought they would stop loving her after Mount Weather.

"I'm sorry boys. But I'm back now. I'm not leaving you. I promise."

"Good." They pulled away and Jasper yelled, "Listen everyone! MOM and DAD are back!"

Octavia burst out into laughter. Clarke grinned and met Bellamy's gaze. They looked at each other and rolled their eyes in unison.

Jasper saw that and squeaked in excitement.

"Oh my god Monty, did you see that? They did this eye roll thing again. I think, I'm gonna faint."

Now Clarke was laughing, too, and Bellamy grinned widely at her.

Clarke was sure she saw something like relief in his face when she laughed.

Bellamy seemed to still be afraid that she'd run away or break down again. But that wouldn't happen. Not anymore. Bellamy was her anchor, she couldn't get floated too far from reality.

She stood beside him and watched the group of people come near to welcome them.

"Bell," she whispered. "Stop looking at me like that. I'm staying with you, okay?" she looked up to find Bellamy already watching her but not saying anything.

"Wherever you go, I'll go."

Bellamy clearly wanted to say something but they were suddenly surrounded by a lot of people. The remaining of the hundred had come to welcome them. Some of them came with their parents who thanked them for bringing back their children and Clarke found herself constantly hugging someone.

Seeing some of the kids finally reunited with their parents made Clarke incredibly happy.

She saw Miller and his dad talking to Bellamy. His father saw her starring and excused himself for a moment. He came to stand in front of her.

Clarke opened her mouth but she didn't came past, "M-" before he interrupted her.

"You can call me David." he said and Clarke smiled. "Clarke I just wanted to thank you. What you did for me and for everyone else...I...thank you."

"They're my family, too. I'd die for them, David." she said.

Miller's dad nodded. "I know. You almost did, though. I appreciate what you did, Clarke - that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for your people. But remember, there are other people who can't lose  _you_ , okay? There are people out here who call  _you_ their family."

Clarke just nodded. Her eyes burned. He squeezed her shoulder before he turned his attention back to his son and Bellamy.

Bellamy was watching her again. It looked like he wanted to go to her but Clarke shook her head.

Clarke had the sudden urge to tell her mother that she was sorry and that she loved her. She looked around the group of people surrounding her but couldn't find her anywhere. Her mother must have quietly stepped away from them.

Clarke excused herself and went to find Abby.

Someone grabbed her arm, making her stop. She looked up to find Bellamy with a worried expression on his face.

"Clarke, where are you going?"

Clarke knew he was just worried but she'd told him, she wouldn't go anywhere and he was still hovering. She yanked her arm free and snapped.

"Bellamy stop it. You're driving me crazy. I told you,  _I am not leaving you!_  For god's sake, I can walk around camp alone. I won't run away. I won't break down again. But you have to let me breath. I don't want you to follow me wherever I go. You can come talk to me when you've stopped overreacting and you're back to treating me like you always have. Right now, I miss the jerk you were before all  _this_ " she pointed between them, "happened. So if you'd excuse myself, I need to find my mother."

Bellamy looked shocked and definitely hurt for a moment before putting on an expressionless mask. Clarke knew she'd fucked up but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. Instead she turned on her heels and left him standing there.

* * *

She found her mother in the med bay, doing inventory.

When Abby heard her enter the room, she looked up. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw her daughter. Clarke's stomach clenched at the sight.

With a few steps she was standing right in front of her mother and pulled her in a fierce hug.

"I'm sorry, mom. I'm so, so sorry." she whispered.

A sob escaped Abby's throat and it took everything in Clarke not to cry again.

When they pulled away, Abby offered her a watery smile.

"Me, too, honey." She cupped Clarke's face in her hands and pressed their foreheads together. "Me, too."

Clarke closed her eyes. She really did not want to shed anymore tears. She'd cried enough for a lifetime.

"I was wrong, Clarke." her mother's voice made her open her eyes again. She send her a quizzically look.

"Bellamy is good guy, he's good for you. I can see how much he loves you. I should have trusted you."

"You should." she whispered. All Clarke could think about right now is how she could apologize to Bellamy. She didn't meant to hurt him.

Abby kissed her cheek before taking a step back. Before either of them could say something else, there was a knock on the door. They turned to find Raven standing awkwardly in the frame.

Abby smiled at her. Raven returned the smile and then looked at Clarke, waiting.

Her mother hugged her a last time and said,

"I'm gonna go and give you two some privacy."

On her way out, she squeezed Raven's arm.

There was a moment of silence where neither of the two knew where to look or what to say. Clarke was the first one to break the silence.

"Thank you." Raven looked up, surprise clear on her face.

"You know, for helping me and for keeping it a secret until the next day." she clarified.

"I thought I'd make up for what I did earlier and for how I treated Bellamy. I'm sorry for what I did and I'm sorry for punching you." Raven looked ashamed.

Clarke took a few steps toward her. "It's okay. I understand why you did it - at least the punching. But damn Reyes that hurt." Clarke smiled at her, making Raven grin.

But then they were serious again.

"I guess what you did for Finn was the only right thing to do. It's not easy to admit that but I know that there was no other way to safe him. I know you did him a favor." Clarke only nodded.

"But you know, you're incredible stupid for running away." Raven raised her voice. "What the hell where you thinking? I'm just glad Bellamy and the others found you in time. Seriously Clarke, how do you think we could do this without you? Sometimes I really doubt your intelligence."

Clarke was honestly surprised by Raven's outburst. She would have never thought, she'd get her friend back.

Suddenly Raven's arms wrapped around her body and she whispered,

"I'm glad you're okay."

Someone cleared their throat and the two women jumped apart.

Octavia stood behind them, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"You two have removed your differences. Good!"

She looked at Clarke.

"I know my brother is taking it a bit too far but whatever he's done and whatever you've said go and fix it before I have to kill you both." She threw her arms in the air and walked away.

Clarke sighed.

"Go," Raven said. "We talk tomorrow."

Clarke hugged her a last time before looking for Bellamy.

* * *

It was already getting dark outside.

She found Bellamy in front of his tent talking to Fox. Clarke's stomach clenched again.  
She liked the other girl but she didn't like the looks she gave Bellamy. Clarke frowned. The girl was tall and beautiful and looked like the girls Bellamy had taken to his tent when they first landed on the ground.  
Seeing Bellamy talk to her did something to Clarke.

Bellamy seemed to notice her watching them because Clarke saw him excusing himself and then he was in front of Clarke, looking expectantly at her.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Sure." his voice was as emotionless as his expression. Clarke winced.

She saw Fox watching them.

"I don't like the way she looks at you." she murmured.

"Jealous, Princess?"

"No," Clarke answered – too fast.

She looked at the ground. "Maybe."

Bellamy huffed.

Clarke's gaze shoot to his face and she glared at him.

"Can you please stop acting as if I suddenly don't mean anything to you? I'm sorry for earlier but you're acting ridiculous. You're exaggerating things, you know that? Goddammit Bellamy I promised you I won't leave you again. Why can't you just believe me?" Clarke rose her voice and now people were looking at them.

She sighed and grabbed his arm, dragging him into his tent.

"Clarke, after everything that has happened in the last weeks, I knew you would break at some point. I just don't want anything to happen to you." his voice was hard and cold, a contrast to his words.

"That's not the problem, Bell. I already broke but I put myself back together. Actually, no.  _You_ put myself back together. But Bell, you have to give me space. I'm not able to breath when you're constantly following me around because you're afraid that I'll run. I. Won't. Leave. You!"

Clarke glared at him and slowly Bellamy's expression softened. He sighed and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her and whispered,

"I can't lose you."

She placed a kiss on his chest and said,

"You won't. I love you."

He froze. Clarke looked up and repeated,

"I'm in love with you, Bellamy Blake."

Bellamy seemed to realize what she'd said because a smug grin appeared on his face.

"You love me?"

"Of course I do, dickhead." Clarke rolled her eyes.

He then laughed - really loud - and it was the most joyous sound Clarke has ever heard.

Bellamy pressed his mouth onto hers and kissed her fiercely, leaving them both breathless.

He rested his forehead against hers and cupped her face with his big hands.

"That's good," he finally said, "because I'm in love with you, too."

Now Clarke was the one grinning widely.

She mirrored him and laid her hands on his cheeks. Clarke stood on her tiptoes and brought their lips back together.

They kissed softly for a while.

But then his hands wandered down, gripping her waist and pulling her flat against his chest. Her hands were now in his hair, tugging gently.

Her mouth opened granting his tongue entrance.

They stumbled backwards and Bellamy sat down on his makeshift bed, pulling Clarke on his lap.

She straddled his legs, her arms around his neck. She leaned back to look him in the eyes.

Bellamy's eyes were dark and she could see the longing in them.

She shivered under his gaze.

Clarke was playing with the hair at the nape of his neck while he drew small patterns on her waist.

She bit her lip and considered it for a moment. Then she fell her decision. She let go of his neck and yanked her shirt over her head.

Bellamy starred at her with wide eyes. His gaze flickered to her chest for a second before he quickly looked her in the eye again.

Clarke moved on his lap and he groaned, gripping her waist harder. He'd probably leave marks but Clarke didn't care. She hoped he did.

"Bell," she whispered his name like a prayer.

"You sure?" he asked, his voice hoarse. Clarke could feel his arousal.

Instead of saying something, she leaned forward, capturing his lips.

Her mouth wandered down his jaw, leaving a wet trace on his throat. Clarke stopped to suck the skin on his collarbone, coaxing another moan from him.

"Fuck that," he murmured and flipped them over so that Clarke was on her back underneath him. Her thighs wrapped around his waist. He pulled away to get rid of his shirt before he turned all is attention to her skin and making her scream his name over and over again...

* * *

Later, Clarke was sprawled across Bellamy's chest. Her arms crossed under her chin, counting his freckles.

Bellamy drew small patterns on her back, eyes closed.

"Bell?" she asked.

He opened his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Princess."

"Don't be mad, okay? I don't want to destroy the moment but..."

Bellamy frowned. "What is it?"

She dropped a kiss on his jaw.

"Earlier when I asked you why you were looking like you want to punch someone you said we'd talk about it later. Now is later."

He seemed to relax because the frown disappeared.

"I was thinking about you." he said.

Now it was Clarke's turn to frown."Why did you want to punch me?"

Bellamy shook his head and chuckled. "I didn't want to punch you, Princess. Of course not."

"Then why-"

"I was thinking about Lexa, Clarke." That made her shut up.

"Remember when you disappeared and I was freaking out and you spoke with Lexa and you said 'well played'? When I asked you what that meant you said we'd talk about it when you were back."

"Oh." Bellamy looked expectantly at her.

Clarke sighed.

"Lexa obviously knew about my feelings for you. When we were at the meeting, she used that to manipulate me. She wanted me to go inside the mountain, knowing that I'd be the best chance we had. So she took me aside and said that I should let you go but I refused to and said that we needed you here. Lexa said that you make me weak, that  _love_ is weakness. I told her that love makes us stronger. She knew that there was no chance that I'd let you go. Lexa knew exactly that I'd go by myself if I feared for your safety."

While she spoke Clarke looked at a spot on his chest, avoiding his eyes.

Bellamy sighed. His hand found her chin and forced her to met his gaze. His voice was soft when he spoke.

"I thought it might be something like that."

He wrapped his arms tighter around her back and dropped a kiss on her head.

"Brave Princess!" he murmured.

They were silent for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts.

Clarke was the first one to break the silence.

"Did you mean it when you said we'd built our own home?"

"Of course I did." he answered without hesitation.

"Good," Clarke said. "I don't want to stay here."

"Neither do I. You miss being a leader, don't you?" There was no disapproval in his voice only curiosity.

"As much as you do." she answered.

"We will Clarke – soon. We'll talk to the others tomorrow and then with your mom. Everyone who wants to come with us is free to come."

"And where should we go?" Clarke couldn't help asking.

"I don't know, Princess. We'll figure something out. But tomorrow, okay?"

He was tired Clarke knew that. She was tired, too. It had been two very long days for them all. So she kissed his cheek and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight Bell."

"Night Princess."

Life on earth was difficult – it always would be. But they had their family back. They had a truce with the grounders and for once they didn't have to worry about the Mountain Men.

She was surrounded by people she loved and who loved her. She shared a bed with the one person she trusted most on this planet.

Life on earth was difficult but for once, Clarke felt like things were going to be good. For once,  _life_  was good!

 


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overprotective!Bellamy and some fluff for the end.

**15 months later**

"Fine." Clarke snapped, glaring at him.

"Great." he yelled back.

She huffed and turned on her heels, leaving him standing where he was.

" _Dammit, Clarke_." Bellamy wanted to go after her but his sister jumped in his way.

"Not now, Octavia." he tried to go around her but again she stepped in front of him, forcing him to stop.

"What do you want?" he asked annoyed.

She glared at him.

"Was that really necessary, Bell?"

"It's really none of your business, O." he growled.

He should feel bad for letting his frustration out on his sister but he couldn't bring himself to care. She was, after all, the one who couldn't keep her nose out of other people's business.

"Why are you such a dick?" his sister asked with a stern expression.

"Octav-" he began but his sister shook her head.

"No Bellamy. You're being a selfish prick and you know it. You know how Clarke hates it when you pull this alpha-male behavior and still you can't let it be. It's her mom, for fuck's sake, show a little sympathy."

He knew she was right.

"I don't want something to happen to her, O." he whispered defeated and his sister sighed.

She wrapped her arms around him and Bellamy crushed her against his chest.

"I promised to protect her and after Abby just got attacked... I'm just afraid something might happen to her while she's away and I can't leave camp, too, to protect her because we have so much to do after this fucking storm almost destroyed half of the camp. And I can't really sent someone with her either."

"You know she can take care of herself, big brother. Clarke isn't weak." She pulled away and Bellamy glared at her.

"Clarke's the strongest woman I've ever met, O. I know that she's not weak but that doesn't mean it's safe for her to rush over to Camp Jaha. You know how she is. Her concern for Abby will make her forget to be careful. The only thing she will think about is how to get there as soon as possible." He was raising his voice again and Octavia looked at him like he was stupid which made him only angrier.

"Christ Bellamy, Abby wasn't ambushed. She was attacked by a fucking panther on a  _hunting trip_. Clarke will be fine. But you really can't expect her to stay here when her mother is hurt. If this would have been me, you'd already be gone. If it calms you, I could go with her." Octavia suggested and his eyes widened in shock.

There was no way in hell that he'd let that happen.

"Octavia are you fucking kidding me? You're not going either. Lincoln still hasn't returned from Ton Dc. Think of Atlas. I'm not going to let you take my nephew with you, that's too dangerous."

At the mentioning of her son, Octavia's features darkened.

"I wasn't planning on taking my three months old son with me on a trip to Camp Jaha and don't, don't you ever tell me I wouldn't think of my son!" She narrowed her eyes at him and Bellamy was pretty sure she was thinking of slapping him.

"I'm sorry, O but I won't let my sister and my wife go out there on their own. Not happening."

"You're such a hypocrite!" she was screaming now.

"You know very well that Clarke and I can handle ourselves. We have been out there a million times and you, you are always going by yourself even when Clarke and I  _beg_  you to at least take Miller with you."

His sister was right, he knew that. But that wouldn't change his mind and that was what he told her.

"You're not going. Clarke's not going. End of the discussion."

The siblings glared at each other but then Octavia snorted. Confused he shot her a questioning look.

"Octavia..." he said with a warning.

"It's a little late for that, Bellamy, don 't you think?" His sister was full on smiling now. But it was an evil, proud smile and his anger flamed as realization dawned him.

Growling he began, "Octavia, tell me you did not-"

"-give Clarke an opportunity to leave unnoticed? Yeah, I did!"

Panic welled up in him. He should have known that Octavia was planning something when she had stopped him from going after Clarke.

_How could she?_

Octavia knew that he didn't like Clarke going out by herself and it had become worse since his nephew had been born. Because of Atlas he was constantly fearing that something bad would happen. He was pretty sure that he worried more than Lincoln and his sister did. And this worry he had also progressed onto Clarke who did not find it the slightest bit amusing. Bellamy knew how ridiculous he was acting but excuse him for worrying about his family. The truce with Lexa was just too good to be true, although Grounders and Skypeople were living in peace now for fifteen months and they even had a good relationship with Mount Weather. Jasper visited Mount Weather at least once a week to see Maya and he always took people with him. Thanks to Maya and Jasper they had a trade treaty. But all this did nothing to diminish his concern.

His anger flared anew and he narrowed his eyes at his sister. He was about to open his mouth and start yelling again when Octavia interrupted him,

"Don't, Bellamy. You have things to do. I have things to do. We all do. Clarke's doing what she has to do. She'll be fine."

Bellamy shook his head. O's words did nothing to calm the fear, Bellamy was feeling for his wife.  
He did not know why but he had the strange feeling that he needed to worry more than usually.

"When anything happens to her..." he hissed and turned abruptly, leaving a startled O behind him.

* * *

" _Bellamy where are we going?" she asked curiously as he pulled her outside the gate._

" _You'll see!" he couldn't hide his excitement and Clarke laughed – his favorite sound on the ground and in the sky. The sound warmed his heart and rattled the butterflies in his stomach awake, making them giddy and him smile like an idiot._

_Bellamy led them further and further into the woods and through thicket. With every step that they got closer to their destination, his heart beat faster and his anticipation grew._

_After a while Clarke couldn't take the silence anymore. "Seriously Bell, where are you taking me."_

" _Patience! We're almost there."_

" _Where is_ there _?"_

_Bellamy abruptly stopped and Clarke almost bumped into him. He turned and took a step forward so that he stood directly in front of her, invading her personal space._

_Taking both of her hands and intertwining their fingers his brown eyes met her blue ones. She held his gaze expectantly and Bellamy whispered,_

" _Do you trust me, Princess?"_

" _Of course I do!" she sounded so outraged that a low chuckle escaped him. He should have known his princess would be like this; noisy as hell and angry and hurt when doubted._

_But instead of letting it go, he provoked her further._

" _Do you love me?"_

_Clarke's eyes widened in disbelief of his question and she took a step back, staring at him as if he was insane. Bellamy did his best to look sincere and Clarke's gaze darkened._

" _ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" she yelled and Bellamy who hadn't expected an outburst like that froze in shock._

" _Bellamy Blake how dare you doubt my trust in you or even worse MY LOVE? I told you a thousand times before and I tell you again now;_ I love you! _After all we have been through I can't believe how you can doubt that. I can't imagine life without you Bell. If I wouldn't trust you with all my heart and soul, do you really think I would be here right now? There is no one on this goddamn planet that I trust more or that I love more than I love you!-"_

_Before Clarke could continue her tirade Bellamy quickly pressed his mouth onto hers; silencing her with a hard kiss. Clarke kissed him back equally as fierce and Bellamy felt her biting his bottom lip. He pulled back with a low chuckle. She tried glaring at him but Bellamy saw the corner of her mouth twitch._

" _I never doubted your love, Princess!" he assured her and her expression grew confused._

" _Then why did yo-"_

" _Because it's always nice hearing those things." Her features softened and a shy smile played at her lips._

" _I love you!" she whispered. Getting on her tippy toes, she leaned up and pressed her lips softly to his._

_This kiss was different from the one before. Their lips moved slowly against each other – all fierceness gone._

_This wasn't going like he had planned it but when Clarke kissed him like this Bellamy couldn't do anything else than melting into her touch._

_Eventually they both needed to breath again and pulled apart – both smiling softly at the other._

" _Clarke, I love you! Before you've come around, I never thought I could love someone else than Octavia and my mother but then I followed my sister and a bunch of juvenile delinquents to the ground where I met the Princess of The Ark. With her blonde hair that surrounds her like a halo and her fierce blue eyes that remind anyone who looks into them of the depth of the ocean but that can set you on fire with a single look. For such a short person, you have a pretty strong personality. You set free a whirlwind of emotions in me and I decided hating you was easier than dealing with the confusion that those feelings were bringing with them. But nonetheless you managed to crawl under my skin and I don't intend to ever let you go again! Falling for you is the best thing that has ever happened to me – right after Octavia of course."_

_Clarke – who had listened to everything he'd said with huge eyes – laughed at the last part. Bellamy wasn't finished though._

" _Though you drive me mad half of the time and you make me sick with worry for you, you also make me happy, Clarke. You make me the happiest I've ever been in my life. You make me want to be a better person and you balance me out. I feel honored for being loved by someone as wonderful as you are and I cannot imagine life without you anymore – I don't want to. I want to fall asleep every night next to you and wake up with you in my arms every morning for the rest of our lives"_

_By now, Bellamy could see tears glistening in her blue eyes. He cupped her face in his hands and brought his face down to her level. He took a deep breath before asking,_

" _Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, Princess?"_

_Clarke's mouth fell open and suddenly the tears were spilling. Worried, Bellamy brushed them away. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder._

" _Yes! Yes! A hundred times Yes!" she whispered into his ear and Bellamy laughed relieved._

_He took two steps back, Clarke still holding onto his shoulders following him._

_Laughing Bellamy shouted, "She said yes!"_

_Suddenly they were surrounded by people who were clapping and cheering. Clarke stepped away from him, a confused look on her face._

_She then finally noticed that they weren't surrounded by trees anymore but that they were standing on a beautiful meadow at the top of a cliff. Colorful flowers blossomed all around them and the whole camp was watching them._

_At the edge of the cliff, his sister and Lincoln were waiting for them. Bellamy looked at Clarke and found her already watching him._

" _You planned all of this." It wasn't a question but Bellamy found himself nodding all the same._

_He watched as her delicious lips stretched into a wide grin. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers before practically dragging him to his sister and Lincoln. He couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled from his mouth and he heard the camp joining him._

_Clarke Griffin-Blake (yeah that definitely had a ring to it.) was a force to be reckoned with._

* * *

Four months later and Bellamy still couldn't stop worrying about his wife. If anything, it had gotten worse.

Bellamy knew he shouldn't have talked like that to his sister but he also knew Octavia would forgive him as soon as he would apologize.

Still angry, Bellamy marched into the empty communication tent and grabbed an all too familiar device. He pushed the button and hissed,

"At least you had the decency to pick one of those."

"I was wondering how long it would take you." Came the response. "20 minutes? That's impressive. Remind me to thank Octavia later."

" _Dammit Clarke!_ " he yelled again and he heard the woman he loved sigh in exasperation.

"Bellamy, we can fight when I'm back." And with that, Clarke cut the connection.

"Don't you dare...  _Fuck!_ " he yelled, almost throwing the walkie-talkie against the table but then thought better of it.

He ran his hand over his face and pulled on his hair, trying desperately to calm down. He needed to get a grip on his temper. He knew that he was probably exaggerating but for some reason he was lately worrying even more than usual which did nothing for his mental health.

Bellamy closed his eyes and did the breathing exercise Clarke had shown him a couple months ago, when Octavia had dropped the bomb on him, telling Bellamy she was pregnant. Bellamy had panicked and if it hadn't been for Clarke, he had probably stormed after Lincoln to kill him for knocking up his baby sister

Half an hour later, Lincoln returned from Ton Dc. Bellamy found him talking with Octavia, holding his three months old son in his arms. Bellamy smiled at the sight and walked over. O glared at him and Bellamy sighed.

"I'm sorry, O."

She studied him a moment before turning her attention back to her husband and son.

"Lincoln saw Clarke on his way back. That's why he's so late." She said without looking at him.

Bellamy's head snapped to Lincoln who nodded.

"I tried to stop her but well... it's Clarke. So I gave her the horse, they gave me in Ton Dc. Thought you'd feel better knowing, she gets to her mother quickly without having to run through the forest."

And he was right. Knowing that Clarke was taking the distance on the back of a horse made Bellamy's heart a little lighter. He thanked the man and returned to work.

Every now and then, Bellamy would try to check in with Clarke but only once he got an answer from her, letting him now she safely arrived in Camp Jaha.

It was driving him crazy not hearing from her.

And the others noticed, too. He drove them all mad. At some point his sister couldn't take it anymore. It was already getting dark outside and Octavia ordered him to sit and stop hovering, because if he doesn't  _'I will hurt you, Bell.'_

So he did what he was told and his sister placed Atlas in his arms and told her brother he could do some babysitting.

Holding his little nephew in his arms, surprisingly seemed to work calming him. He watched the little boy and told him some of the stories, Bellamy had told Octavia when she was younger. Eventually Atlas fell asleep and Bellamy just kept watching his peaceful expression.

He was so lost in his nephew's face that he didn't notice noise erupting around him.  
And that is exactly how Clarke found him, watching their three months old nephew fast asleep in his arms.

When she sat next to him and dropped a kiss on Atlas head, he finally seemed to notice her. His eyes met hers. She just sat there, a bright smile illuminating her face, studying him.

Bellamy let his eyes wander swiftly over her body, checking her for somme kind of injury. When he was satisfied that she was unharmed, Bellamy leaned in and crushed their lips together. Clarke eagerly returned the kiss. Their lips moved in a battle for dominance. Though when Clarke swept her tongue over his lips, trying to force him to open his mouth for her tongue to enter, Bellamy pulled back.

Clarke pouted and he smirked – shaking his head amused.

"So I guess, you're mother is fine?" he asked.

Clarke nods. "She'll make it. Jackson has become a fantastic doctor. But that's not all."

"No?" he quirked an eyebrow at her.

Clarke shook her head. "Look who finally decided to come home."

Bellamy looked up and in the direction Clarke was pointing and was more than a little surprised to see a certain brunette mechanic making her way towards them, followed by a blonde engineering shadow.

"It was about time, Reyes."

"Aww missed me that much, Blake?"

He laughed. Bellamy nodded at Wick, who grinned sheepishly at them. Raven's eyes fell on the baby in his arms.

"Is that Atlas? He's beautiful."

"You wanna hold him?" Octavia appeared behind them.

The other woman nodded and Bellamy handed his nephew over. As soon as his arms were empty, Clarke grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the crowd that had started to gather themselves around the two newcomers.

A hundred feet away from the others, Clarke stopped and turned. She looked like she was about to go into battle.

"Bring it on, Bell." he quirked an eyebrow at her and shook his head in amusement.

Upon seeing that Clarke was still waiting for him to yell at her, Bellamy sighed. He brought a hand to her cheek and she leaned into his touch and closed her eyes for a moment.

"I'm still mad at you, Princess but seriously, I'm way too tired to stay angry when instead I can just hold you in my arms."

She smiled at that and with one step she closed the remaining space between them and wined her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. Bellamy's arms came up to hold her close and he dropped a kiss on her head.

It had been a long day and Bellamy finally felt content with his Princess in his arms. That was, until Clarke broke the comfortable silence between them.

"I still have something to tell you." Her voice was muffled by his chest.

Bellamy loosened his hold around her a bit and she took a tiny step back, her arms still wrapped around Bellamy's waist.

Bellamy didn't say a thing, he just looked at her and waited. She seemed nervous, biting on her lower lip. Carefully, Bellamy brought a hand to her face and pulled her lip from between her teeth.

"Talk to me, Princess. You're making me nervous, too."

Clarke nodded and took another step back, bringing some distance between them and making Bellamy frown. But before he could ask, Clarke had finally found the courage to speak.

"I didn't just want to see my mother to make sure she is fine. I had an ulterior motive here." she took a deep breath before continuing in a rush, "I know you noticed that I didn't feel so well the last few weeks. I don't sleep well and am constantly exhausted. But there are some things that I did not tell you because I did not want you to worry."

At that Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her, "Princess," he growled but Clarke ignored him.

"I was sick a couple of times and then at some point I noticed that I didn't got my period once in the last eight weeks."

Bellamy's eyes grew wider with every word she said. And Clarke spoke more rushed and more quietly now.

"I was pretty sure but I couldn't tell a hundred percent, so I wanted to talk to my mom and she just confirmed it."

He was completely frozen. Clarke took one last deep breath and then,

"I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Then,

"You're pregnant?"

"Yeah." Clarke's voice was tiny and she looked scared.

The first emotion Bellamy felt was anger. Clarke had not only put herself in danger this morning when she decided to leave camp unprotected. No, she also endangered their unborn child. And suddenly it hit Bellamy.  _Their child._

"We're getting a baby."

Though it wasn't a question Clarke nodded. She looked still wary of his reaction.

And then a smile broke free on his face and he laughed loudly. He grabbed Clarke and spun her around. She yelped surprised and clutched at his shoulders.

They were already getting looks from the others in camp but Bellamy did not seem to notice.

"WE'RE GETTING A BABY!" He yelled and Clarke joined his laughter.

Carefully Bellamy put Clarke back on her feet. They locked eyes and smiled at each other.

"I'm going to be a daddy." Bellamy whispered. Clarke reached up with one hand and wiped at his cheek. Bellamy hadn't even noticed the wetness there. His hand wandered to her still flat belly.

"The best daddy." Clarke whispered and Bellamy saw that she, too, was fighting back tears.

Suddenly a pair of bony arms was thrown around them and Octavia's shrill voice squeaked in their ears.

" _Oh my god. I'm going to be an aunt!_ "

Slowly everyone came up to them to congratulate them but not once did Bellamy leave Clarke's side. They held hands for the remaining of the evening, sharing whispered I love you's from time to time and stole a kiss or two.

This night when they closed the door to their hut and Clarke looked at him – her expression full of love – Bellamy again was struck by how lucky he was.

He asked himself for the thousandth time what he had done to deserve this wonderful woman that looked at him like he'd hung the moon.

And now they also had a little baby princess on the way. Or maybe a little prince?

Yup, he was the luckiest bastard on this whole goddamn planet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Greek mythology Atlas was one of the Titans - brother of Prometheus, Epimetheus and Menoetius. After losing the battle against the Olympian gods, Zeus condemned him to stand on the western side of Gaea (the earth) and eternally hold Uranus (the sky) on his shoulders.
> 
> The idea for that came from my dear Canadian friend Brigitte, who's immediate answer when I asked her to name Linctavia's child for the epilogue, was Atlas.  
> I loved the idea and think it's fitting.


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